How much more hypocritical can you get?

Ypsilanti Woman Upset over Photo Posted on "People of Walmart" Website

Have you ever heard of this website?
What website?

It's called People of Walmart .
Ohhh, that website. Story lead fail.

Elitist reporter note: How about this instead, “Have you ever heard of People of Walmart?” Seriously, it’s not rocket science people!

People take pictures of shoppers and post them online so others can make fun of them.
Yeah, we know. And it’s funny.

However, one metro Detroit woman wasn't laughing when her mom popped up on the site.
"You can't be safe in a store while you're shopping? It upsets me," said Melanie Wheeler.
Now, it’s not in this story, but it is in another one I read about this – the woman who is bitching saw this picture while she was on the site because she is a regular viewer of the site.

So, you’re telling me it’s a double-standard … you can laugh at other people’s moms when they’re on the site, but if someone snapped a picture of your mom, it’s time to get upset.

I sat down with the Ypsilanti woman. She told me her mom's picture is on the "People of Walmart" website. The caption reads "A member of the Canadian division of the trench coat mafia".
The other story I read also said she was upset because the site refused to take it down. I frantically searched Google and the People of Walmart site to find it and was not lucky enough to do so. I searched on the terms of the caption, the location, everything. So either my internet-searching powers aren’t working today (and if that’s the case, just shoot me now) or they did, in fact, take it down. (Random note about my internet-searching powers – they are not at full-strength because I am, in fact, at work.)

Wheeler said her mom was shopping at the Ypsilanti Walmart on Ellsworth Road, but did not realize someone had snapped her picture and was shocked to find it on the internet.
Okay, well, look, sweetheart let’s break this down.

• It wasn’t a picture of you. Be grateful for that.
• Don’t you know that, as children, it is our job to make sure our parents don’t go out looking like complete fools in public? I try, but if my mom ends up on People of Wal-Mart, I’m just gonna laugh and write my own caption.
• Obviously your mom was comfortable enough with herself to go out looking like a complete moron (I’m guessing since I haven’t seen the picture), so quit getting your panties in a twist.
• You read the site. You appreciate the humor. You are such a freakin’ hypocrite.

"The picture's of … like the back of her right shoulder, so they were doing it … about stomach level where no one would see that they were holding a camera up to do it," Wheeler said. Uh, yeah, that’s how most of them are taken. Thank you for stating the obvious.

"She was upset about it. Her first reaction when I told her was I want the picture taken off. Can you do it? And I'm like no, I don't run the website."
Well, sweetheart, why did you tell your mom? Just let her live in her blissful ignorance.

I spoke to the night manager at the Ypsilanti Walmart. He said Walmart has nothing to do with the website and that Walmart in no way supports the website.
Of course Wal-Mart (yes, Virginia, it’s actually got a hyphen and a capital M) is going to claim they don’t support the site. Because they don’t. But I guarantee you a large number of employees get a kick out of it. Probably on the computers at work nonetheless.

Wheeler said that, in her opinion, these pictures are different than those taken by paparazzi on a public street or sidewalk.
Yeah, cause, um, these are funny.

"The thing is if you take a picture of someone in public, they're in public," she said. "My argument is you're in a Walmart. We have no privacy shopping? … So, I could go into any store and take a picture of anybody or their children and put it up on a web page."
Um, no, you don’t have any privacy shopping. You don’t have any privacy just walking down the street. You don’t have any privacy when you’re at a restaurant. Once you walk out the doors of your hallowed home, you give up any and all rights to privacy. (At least as far as I’m concerned.) By the way, have you ever seen paparazzi pictures of celebrities while they are out shopping? Of course you have, because I have too. I know I’ve seen pictures of Britney Spears buying pregnancy tests at Walgreens (*shudder*) – not so sure about Wal-Mart, but I’m sure they are out there. Probably of Britney, no less.

Wheeler said what would give her satisfaction is to have her mother's picture taken down from the website.
I do believe it’s been taken down. Cause I can’t find it, no matter how much I want to see it. If any readers happen to have it – share!!!!

The other story I was reading is that she’s waging a war on this and trying to make it illegal to take pictures while people are shopping. Umm… good luck.

---
And now, just because I could – I have included some of my favorites taken right here in Kentucky. These are courtesy of the People of Wal-Mart site, and I in no way accept credit for them.

My parents got caught stealing once ... when I was nine (months old)

Police: Couple Steals, Leaves Baby In Cart

First of all … before we get into this crazy story, let’s take a moment to digest that headline, shall we?

Headline writing is an art form. Some people can do it, some can’t. My former-editor, Kevin, was a master (still is, even though his headline writing is reduced to blog posts and press releases these days).

I full-well know why headlines contain commas like this one, because of lack of space (though, this is online, they have all the space in the world). But, honestly, it took me reading the story to understand they did not, in fact, steal a baby just to leave it in a cart. That is, however, how it reads.

*climbing on editing/journalist soapbox now*

The importance of news stories … in order 1) headline; 2) lead; 3) last paragraph; 4) the text in between the lead and the last paragraph.

Why? Numerous studies prove most people only read the headlines. A smaller percentage will read the headline and lead. An even smaller percentage will read the headline, lead and the last paragraph. The smallest percentage will read the whole thing.

The reason why we need compelling, and well-written, headlines and leads is because we want to hook the people to read the whole story. After all, the reporter took the time to research it, write it (God, I hope, but Jayson Blair and his ilk are a whole separate pet peeve in and of themselves) and make it captivating so people will read it. Otherwise the paper can’t justify the measly $8/hour it pays the reporter.

*climbing off my soapbox now*

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- A man and woman are charged with endangering the welfare of a child after police said the two shoplifted at a Walmart store then left their 9-month-old child in a shopping cart.
I am glad to see that the most important charge here was about the kid and not about what they stole from the store.

AP Nazi note: Correct me is if I’m wrong, but isn’t Wal-Mart supposed to be hyphenated, and the ‘m’ in mart capitalized?

According to an arrest citation, Amy Kapetanious and Daniel Shelton were observed by a loss prevention employee concealing merchandise in a diaper bag and purse and also around their 9-month-old infant.
I love how they were “observed.” The whole point of Loss Prevention not to sit in the snack bar and drink coffee, it’s to prevent people from doing what these people did in your line of sight. I think you need a new job assignment. Perhaps some toilets need cleaning or something.

It happened around 6 p.m. Monday at a Walmart store on Diann Marie Road, in east Louisville.
I also love the fact they call out the store specifically in the story. It’s like a blatant warning to all shoplifters: *Attention potential shoplifters, the Wal-Mart was recently subject to a large hit. Security will be high. Avoid said store for 2-4 weeks until the hype dies down. That is all*

When the loss prevention employee approached Kapetanious, she and Shelton left the store without paying for items worth about $1,300, according to the citation.
Apparently this is a common value to steal – as I had $1400 stolen from me Friday. Hmm. Wonder is there’s a correlation. Do these people know my PayPal password???

Okay, back to the point of Loss Prevention – you aren’t supposed to let them leave the store with the stuff, you idiot. You run, you track them down, tackle them if you have to, you page someone, you trip them, you open a package of marbles and throw them into the path of the shoplifters – you don’t let them go.

Seriously, what stuff did they get from Wal-Mart that fit in a diaper bag that was worth $1300? Yeah, there are some high-ticket items at all Wal-Marts, but they either won’t fit in a diaper bag, or they are under lock and key.

The citation states Kapetanious and Shelton left the 9-month-old baby abandoned when they fled on foot. Kapetanious attempted to change clothes and returned to retrieve the baby, according to the citation.
Elitist reporter note: I hate the use of “citation” in this paragraph. Especially twice. Given the fact the paragraph starts out taking about the citation, I think any normal person would know this information was provided on the citation as well.

Might I point out their $1300 worth of stuff was more important than their 9-month-old kid.

“Hey, honey, I think we forgot something.”
“Did you get the new Xbox game I wanted?”
“Yes.”
“Condoms?”
“Yes.”
"Jane's Addition CD?" 
"Yep."
“I dunno.”
“OMG, it’s the baby.”

The pair was caught about 400 yards from the store.
They were caught 400 yards from the store. However, the previous paragraph says that she attempted to change clothes. Was she doing that while she was running? Was she running through the parking lot half-naked? No wonder Loss Prevention wasn’t trying to stop them, he was getting a free show.

Furthermore, if they went back to try to get the baby, why didn’t they catch them inside the store, where the baby was left sitting, rather bewildered, and probably thankful her (or his, it doesn’t say) idiot parents left her. The child probably made gurgling noises that translated into “take me home with you – PLEASE!” to anyone who passed the cart.

Kapetanious is also charged with theft by unlawful taking and giving officers false information.
Elitist reporter note: What false information did she give the police??? That part seems to be missing from the story. Now I wanna know! I hate stories that only give you part of the information. Now I’m sad. Just one more disappointment to add to my ever-growing list in 2011 and I’m only four days into the year!

Shelton is also charged with fleeing and evading police, resisting arrest and theft by unlawful taking.
There is a surprising lack of details about resisting arrest as well, but, I guess one could infer the fleeing/evading police is a form of resisting arrest. But still, I want more details! I took the time to read more than just the headline of the story, I want more for my time! (Well, I guess I did get a blog post out of it, so I can’t complain too much.)

Child Protection Services was notified of the incident.
Well, dear God, I should hope so.

The wonders at Wal-Mart never cease...

So, Munchkin and I go to Wal-Mart because it got cold and rainy and my sinuses are killing me. Off to get off-brand NyQuil (don't judge me, I'm broke, okay?).

All I have is the Equate Cherry-Flavored NiteTime Cold and Flu relief and I'm ready to check out. The Express lane has like 20 people in it and I don't feel like dealing with that. I find a lane with one lady with half a cart of groceries. I figure it's a half a cart of groceries, surely it will go faster than 20 derelicts in the other lane.

Note to self: Don't EVER think that again.

First of all, I managed to get in the lane with the biggest retard running the register. I mean, seriously, his IQ was only a point over the minimum allowed to be hired at Wal-Mart (and believe me, that isn't high). So he's slow as all get out - and he manages to scan some things multiple times so he has to go back and fix it.

I see the woman ahead of me writing, so I figure she's signing a check. Well, she was, but not exactly how I expected. What she handed him wasn't a personal check - no, it was a Social Security Check.

It should come as no surprise that Retard Boy didn't know what to do, so he waves for a CSM to come over and help. She hits a few buttons, and magically the transaction goes through. On the computer screen I see "Change $1,170.36." ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???

Retard Boy doesn't think he has enough cash in the drawer, so the CSM looks at his drawer and tells him he has enough. She counts out $950 in 50 dollar bills, and then counts out the rest in 20 dollar bills.

She leaves. Retard Boy starts counting out the $1,170.36 in change, but screws up somewhere along the line and has to start over again. REALLY???

Finally, she has her $1,170.36, Retard Boy started scanning my stuff, and then tried to scan items of the people behind me (because was there an order separator, no way, that would make too much sense). Social Security lady almost forgot two of her bags - canned peas and buttermilk, definitely not something I would have wanted to inherit from her. I'd prefer her $1, 170.36.