Customer Service - or not

Stupid TigerDirect.com. Ugh.

Scott got it in my head we should get Galaxy tablets. I’m all for that. A new toy, hell yeah. So, I go out searching for the WiFi model because, well, I already pay a small fortune to Sprint every month for the phones, I don’t need to add anymore to that monthly raping.

I decide on TigerDirect because it ships same day, I had the option to bump it up to Two Day shipping for next to nothing, and, most importantly, I could use my BillMeLater. This is important. Not because I don’t have the money (well, not for both – but for one, yes) … but rather this is the ONLY form of payment I currently have access to since ALL of my cards (debit and credit) are currently unavailable since reporting them as stolen on Thursday and I haven’t received replacements yet.

So, I place the order, it goes through, woohoo!!!

I got on TigerDirect’s website late last night and it said it was pending for credit authorization. Alright, I’m not sure what exactly that means, but maybe it was a BillMeLater thing, so I let it slide. Didn’t think anything of it.

This morning I get on TigerDirect’s website to see if they had shipped yet. No, they had not. In fact, my order status was listed as “Cancelled.” No explanation, just cancelled. Worse yet, I had to find that out by going to the site, they didn’t even have the DECENCY to e-mail me to tell me this.

I went to BillMeLater’s site and the charge was listed on my account as pending, so obviously there was no problem with the BillMeLater account (which, might I add, I used successfully just a couple weeks ago). I even called BillMeLater to make sure, and she assured me everything was fine with the account.

Not that I have testicles, but you get the idea...

So, I called TigerDirect’s customer service to find out what the hell was going on. The girl was about worthless. “It says your order was cancelled.”

Well, no shit Sherlock. Tell me something I don’t know. “Can you tell me why it was cancelled?”

“No, it doesn’t say, just that it was cancelled.”

“Okay, well, what do I do to fix it?”

“You can try placing the order again.”

Are you freakin’ kidding me? Just to go through all this again? Nope, went out and bought it from another site (which, unfortunately for me, is “powered” by TigerDirect, so I’m still at their mercy).

I subsequently sent the following e-mail to TigerDirect.

"I ordered a router and two Galaxy WiFi only tablets yesterday, thrilled that I was able to find them. Even better was the fact I could have them shipped immediately and for a reasonable price.

Imagine my dismay when I logged in to check the status of my order and found it was cancelled. No reason, just cancelled. (Last night I saw it was under credit review, which made little sense to me considering I have used BillMeLater in the past with no problems. The credit is available and has been used previously. I digress.)

I called customer support to find out what was going on and how I could fix it. The girl was less-than-helpful, telling me she saw it was cancelled - well, no duh, I knew that, that's why I called. She said she didn't know why and that I could try to re-order it.

As if. As much as I have always loved TigerDirect in the past, this has put a sour taste in my mouth. My order was cancelled when there was more than enough credit on the account used to cover the cost. My order was cancelled by TigerDirect and you didn't even have the decency to e-mail me to tell me. And your customer support just told me what I already knew. Why the hell would I call if I wanted them to rehash what I knew?

Before even calling customer support, I went to BillMeLater to make sure there were no problems with the account and it showed that a $XXX purchase was made from TigerDirect - so obviously the problem is not with BillMeLater. And if it is, they neglected to tell me too, and I will write them a nasty e-mail too. I have good credit, I always pay my bills, and I find it a bit ridiculous that it is this difficult to buy a Galaxy tablet. I mean - honestly.

My going to a different site (even if it is powered by you guys - only because you have a monopoly over my ability to purchase a WiFi only Galaxy tablet at the moment) will not break you. Nor will my expression of disgust to my friends and family. But rest assured, I'm not happy.”

And this is what I get in response:

“Dear Valued Customer:

Thank you for your e-mail.

Please accept our sincerest apologies for any inconvenience that may have caused you. We value your comments and suggestions, and they will be forwarded to the proper department. We constantly strive for customer satisfaction and hope this incident will not change your opinion of our company. Again, we apologize and thank you for your time and patience.

Thank you for visiting our website. We appreciate your business. If you have further inquiries and reply to this email, please make sure to include your entire message, so we can address it appropriately.

Sincerely,
Felben
TigerDirect.com Web Response”

Uhh, too late.

Never going back to TigerDirect if I can help it. Thankyouverymuch.

Happy Mother's Day

A little over three years ago, I was awarded a new title. No, I was not named the “Duchess of Cambridge” or the “Duchess of Cornwall.” Even better, I was awarded the title of “Mom.” 

Never the maternal type, I was scared. I mean, I didn’t earn this title (unless you count nine month of pregnancy and 15 hours of contractions and a huge dose of Pitocin that didn’t work and an epidural that fell out and had to be administered a second time), why was I entrusted with this person?

Newsflash – God knows what he’s doing. Because this little person gave me a sense of worth I never thought I’d get. 

Does she drive me absolutely freakin’ insane?? Of course she does. That’s God’s lesson in humility and patience. (And, I think, quite frankly, his daily dose of pleasure.)

She also loves me unconditionally. Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes my day more than her huge smile when she sees me after a day at daycare and running at me full-blast to give me a hug and a kiss. When I tell her I love her, she responds with “Love you too.” Nothing can top that. Ever. 

It makes me proud to watch her grow and learn. The pride when she does something insanely intelligent is amazing. I mean, I used to thrive on always being right and hearing someone tell me I was intelligent or good at something. I don’t care anymore. Just tell me my child is intelligent and that’s all I need to hear. It’s no longer about me.

Truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Leopards never change their spots (haha, and neither will I)

Child attacked by leopard at Kansas zoo

A child on a school outing was attacked by a leopard at a Wichita, Kansas, zoo, authorities said Friday.
Can you imagine the conversation that night over the dinner table?

“So, sweetheart, how was your field trip to the zoo? Did you see anything cool?”
“I saw lions, tigers, and a kid get mauled by a leopard. It was awesome.”

The boy, a student from Linwood Elementary, was with classmates on a field trip at the Sedgwick County Zoo when, around 1:15 p.m., witnesses said, he "went over a railing" and approached the Amur leopard exhibit, said Lt. Jay McLaurian of the county sheriff's department.
First of all, that sentence is just freakin’ awful. I seriously think I’m going to go into convulsions after reading that – it’s the written equivalent of a strobe light.

Second … “went over a railing.” That just leads to way too many questions. Did he think it was a good idea to go over it willingly? Was he pushed? Was he leaning too far and just fell?

Then again, you know, perhaps he said, “Hey y’all, watch this,” right beforehand. It would be fitting.

The leopard was able to reach into the mesh covering of its enclosure and grab the boy by his head, McLaurian said.
Chomp!

I love the phrasing here (read: hate) – the leopard was able to … um, no dumbass, the leopard was not only able to, the leopard did.

The child was rescued by bystanders who rushed in and "beat the animal" away from the boy, officials said. According to McLaurian, the boy received injuries to his face and neck and was taken to a hospital for treatment.
Beat the animal away from the boy? Really? Was it like an angry mob with sticks? Umm, hello, did any of you think that, possibly, maybe, if you pissed that leopard off that you might be next?

He is expected to "be OK," McLaurian said.
What awkward sentence structure. I mean, to put quotes around just “be OK.” But how reassuring that he is expected to be OK, I mean, wouldn’t it suck to be like, “Well, yeah, we got him there, but we don’t expect him to make it through the night.”

The boy, who is 7 years old, was in fair condition Friday afternoon at Via Christi Hospital on St. Francis in Wichita, CNN affiliate KWCH said.
Just fair? He’s expected to be OK but he’s only in fair condition? I would have expected good or stable or something. To me, fair is one step above critical or serious. Well, you know, it is Kansas, what do they know there other than wheat farming?

Students from several Sedgwick County schools were at the zoo on Friday and witnessed the attack, and the school district immediately took steps to notify parents, according to Susan Arensman, spokeswoman for Wichita Schools.
What involved notifying parents? Sending home a letter?

“Dear parents:
Today, while your child was on a field trip to the local zoo, your child may have witnessed various wild animals and an incident of ‘When Animals Attack.’ Be prepared for awkward dinner conversation and possible nightmares. Rest assured, though, the child attacked by a wild animal is in the hospital, in fair condition, and is expected to be OK. No harm, no foul.
Sincerely,
The Wichita City Public School System"

"One of our first-graders was injured by one of the animals," a letter that was sent home to parents whose children attended the same school as the victim read.
Oh, man, that sort of takes the fun out of the previous smart-assed comment. Dammit.

A similar letter was also sent home to parents from other Wichita schools.
Oh, yay, trees killed mercilessly. And how much you want to bet the letter wasn’t even read by 95 percent of the parents. God knows I hardly ever gave papers to my parents unless, of course, their being signed was part of my homework credit or something. Ever the over-achiever, I would always make sure I did that. Yep, loser, I know.

Shortly after the attack, school officials assembled a crisis team to help the students process what happened, and assure them that the victim would be OK, said Arensman.
A crisis team, really? 

"Counselors will also be available on Monday to offer additional help to students," Arensman said.
Counselors. Honestly? Is this really necessary?

“I just can’t concentrate on my math. Every time I look at those numbers, I think of Jimmy – he loved math – and I see his head as a snack for that giant cat. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do math again.”

The zoo was evacuated for a short time after the attack but remained opened after the incident, officials said.
Evacuated? Because a leopard noshed on a kid’s head THROUGH some netting? First of all, the leopard got the snack it so desperately wanted, so I’m sure it wasn’t really a threat with a full belly. In fact, it probably just wanted a nap after that. Second, it’s not like it was free-range, running through the zoo. The story gave no indication it ate through the mesh surrounding it, so I doubt it was a threat to anyone.

Amur leopards, which are listed as an endangered species, can grow to 4 to 6½ feet long and weigh anywhere from 60 to 150 pounds, the zoo's website says. They are native to Far Eastern Russia and northern China.
Wait, they are an endangered species – isn’t beating an animal on the endangered species list  a crime? Uh oh, look out – you guys may have saved that kid, but committed a crime in the process. Last I knew, seven-year-olds were not an endangered species … I’m just saying. (Okay, it was a joke, relax.)

Follow-up to the great adventure involving doctors, delinquents and cops from yesterday

“She’s a lot more calm than most.” – the cop, talking to Scott, about me

I love this, because the irony in the quote cracks me up. Where was I when they had this conversation? I was in the back getting a shot in my ass (literally) of Torodol to combat the migraine I had just developed. Which is why Scott’s response was, “She just internalizes.”

I asked the doctor to give me something, a sample of Maxalt laying around the office, a shot, I didn’t care. The nurse is like, “Do you want us to just call you something in?” I was like, “Umm, I have Maxalt at home. I just don’t have a way to get it!” Held hostage at the doctor’s office! However, seeing as how I was able to get the “good” meds as a result, I was held hostage in the best place possible.

Alright, well, here are a few of the most commonly asked questions I've received...

So, did you get your stuff back?

Well, the day of, we found my nook case and wristlet at the bottom of a drainage pipe, both empty.

The cards and the car keys were never recovered. The Nook, however, has been returned to me.

I got a call from the cop at 8 a.m., telling me he has the Nook back. He also told me the story went that the grandma told her thieving granddaughter to give it to her so she could turn it over to the police. Thieving granddaughter refuses. Grandma has to pay thieving granddaughter $100 before she will hand over the Nook, whereupon grandma gives it to the police.

Which leads into … do you believe that story?

Hell no I don’t believe it. Nor does the cop. But what are you going to do?

Of course, I told him (and he agrees), that grandma shouldn’t have forked over the money, should have let thieving  bitch rot in jail. Who the hell holds their grandmother captive for $100 to DO THE RIGHT THING? The cops obviously KNEW she did it, they could very easily find her and retrieve it from her, while also hauling her to Scott County Detention Center – so, yeah … apparently I don’t understand what runs through peoples’ minds sometimes. (Apparently grandma was doing everything in her power to keep her granddaughter from going to jail. Uhh… yeah, no. Let her go. Yeah, you might have to be in charge of her bratty kids while she’s doing time, is that what your problem is?)

Did I press charges?

Given the fact my Nook was returned, he asked if I still wanted to press charges. I would like to see this dumbass bitch go to jail, but not enough to go through the mental anguish of pressing charges over a $200 piece of technology. It’s just not worth it. (Now, had something happened to my car – I’d be screaming something different. And something very well still could happen to my car, and my mind will change very quickly.)

Why am I so laid back about this? In the end, she’ll get judged – by her family, by anyone who faces her again at that office (believe me, none of them took well to this, they won’t like seeing her again), and by whatever deity she believes in. She’ll get hers somewhere along the line. I don’t need to be the first lining up to seek justice. More than anything, you have to feel sorry for her kids, who are growing up with this type of trash as a role model. Wow.

What did my mom have to say?

God love my mother, who lacks compassion (I inherited that, though not quite to her level – though, I admit, there are times she’s compassionate and I wouldn’t be) asks me, “And what did we learn from this?”

*pause*

“To always pick your stuff up and take it with you.”

Thanks Mom. Love you!

She’s got a point, I should have taken my stuff with me. But I was going to a desk not 20 feet away. I didn’t really think it was an issue. I had a couple other people talk to me later and they were like, “I would have done the same thing.”

Why are you selling the Nook?

So, we found the awesome Nook case at the bottom of the ditch. The Nook was returned this morning. But I have decided – and Scott backs me up on this – that I’m going to sell it. I know what you’re asking, why? After all, the Nook still works.

WELL … the most disheartening thing about the Nook case was the fact that it’s at the bottom of the pipe, face down (which means the picture of my kiddo is face down in the mud). I mean, granted, it’s just a “thing” and is not my child, it still sucks. When I think of it, the only vision I have is that Nook case face down in the mud. Therefore, I will be replacing it, as opposed to cleaning it and keeping it. Yes, I’m crazy, I’m aware most of you don’t get it, but that’s okay.

As far as the Nook is concerned – I have already had it blacklisted from my account. Basically, no more book purchases can be made from that serial number by my account. So, I have to essentially start over anyway. Plus, I don’t know what this bitch intended to do – read what I had on there, sell it (I would have thought she would have already pawned it to be honest), or take it in a field and beat it with a baseball bat thinking, “Take that white girl I don’t know.” I don’t know. Nor do I want to know. But just like my case, it’s tainted. It’s just not the same. Nothing is wrong with it, it still works. I just don’t want it. So I’ll sell it to someone who does and go get a replacement.

Side note, we had a debate over upgrading to a Nook color or replacing it with itself, and I’m leaning in the direction of sticking with the tried-but-true e-ink version. After all, I can always read on my phone too, and I don’t need the same basic back-lit interface on both devices. Defeats the purpose.

I don’t expect everyone to get my desire to replace my Nook. That’s okay. Just don’t judge me for it. Thank God for being employed and having the ability to make this decision.

What was in your wallet?

My wallet was simply a Vera Bradley wristlet, it didn’t hold a lot. There were no checks or anything, thank God for that. But it did have: two debit cards (one to each one of my banks), my Kohl’s card, my Maurice’s card (which I JUST GOT the day before), my Bank of America credit card, one of Scott’s credit cards, a Wal-Mart gift card (no worries, it was in-store credit from a return and only had like $12 on it), the key to our room in Disney World, and two Photo Pass cards from Disney.

My license was in my hand, as I needed it to check in, so that’s something. And my phone was with me, otherwise she’d have that too, and then someone might have to hold me back, because taking away my phone is not cool.

What all was on the keys?

My car key and remote, my house key, my mailbox key, the key to Scott’s dad’s Dodge pickup, a key to my old house in Virginia Beach, a ring Scott gave me YEARS ago that I can no longer wear because of the fact it’s bent out of shape because I dropped a car battery on it, a giant blue horse I bought at Keeneland, and all my shopping cards that I have neglected to scan into the app on my phone and I am currently kicking myself for that fact.

Was your car messed with in any way?

No, my car was left alone. Now, that’s not who is to say that it won’t remain that way – after all, my car keys are God knows where (and he’s not telling me at this point) and all someone has to do is wander a parking lot hitting the panic button to find it. I do not like the fact that this is a possibility. I mean, what are the odds this moron will find my car in the parking lot at work in Lexington? Slim. However, you know, it is also seen all over Georgetown. I think we will be using Scott’s car more regularly until my keys are returned to me.

What are you grateful for in all of this?

There are actually a lot of things I’m grateful for…

I *think*the Photo Passes expire after 30 days, so the pictures shouldn’t be online. So, assuming she’s smart enough, she shouldn’t be able to get online to see “Ohh, what this poor sap look like, and her family and how can I torment them more?”

That I have a job, and we have enough money that I can replace my Nook. That Scott’s understanding enough of my crazy delusions to let me do that, no questions asked.

That Jocelyn wasn’t with me. Who is to say that this would have happened if she was there? (Probably still, she would have taken off to play somewhere.) But I would not have been near as calm and collected as I was if I had to deal with her too. Plus, I’d totally be in protective mama mode, so who knows what would have come out of my mouth in that mode. (Of course, it is food for thought to think that, had I had her with me, I wouldn’t have had my Nook. Wallet still probably would have gone missing.)

I’m grateful there were witnesses. Even if the cop didn’t get to talk to them until this chick managed to skip off, at least people saw her and that’s why we were able to recover what we did.

I’m grateful the grandma is pissed. Good. There are times the wrath of grandma/mom is worse than anything you may get in a court of law.

I’m grateful I took my phone up to the counter with me (as I was waiting on a text with the insurance cards in it). Otherwise this bitch would have my phone too. You know I wouldn’t be getting that back. That’s worth more than the Nook.

I’m grateful it happened at the doctor’s office, so when the migraine hit, I was able to get meds for it.

I’m grateful we had an extra set of keys. (Even if Scott didn’t, I had the valet key at the house, so the car could have been driven home regardless.) Like hell I would have left it.

I’m grateful I was able to remain calm and collected and not flip out. Had I turned into a total bitch, I’m sure the cop would have been less likely to help me. I mean, yeah, it’s his job, but he could be an asshole to me, cops like to play those mental games with people. I’ve seen it happen.

I’m grateful that my husband bought me pizza for dinner and a huge chocolate bar. Comfort food. Yum. (Side note, I have not eaten the huge chocolate bar yet.)

Oh, that if I *did* end up having to press charges (read: something DOES end up happening to my car), I have plenty of lawyer friends to call. The most likely candidate - Brady. Because he would so love this one. (Come on, Scott, tell me you disagree!)

What’s the biggest pain in the ass right now?

One – I just got the remote for my car fixed two weeks ago. TWO WEEKS AGO! It cost $80. And what good did that serve me? To make it easier to find my car for this bitch? I half wish I hadn’t done it yet so she could walk right by my car and never know because the old remote didn’t work.

Two – I still worry about her finding my car. Calm and collected will go out the window. I am so close to getting it paid off - don't think I won't be pissed beyond belief if my car gets messed up right as I get it paid off. Heaven help her.

Three  – I had to cancel all my cards. Until the new debit cards come in, I have no way to pay for anything. Sigh.And once they do come in, I have to set up all my automatic bill pay that used my debit cards (like the Sprint bill and the alarm system, etc.).

Four – I just, out-and-out, feel violated. I mean, of all the places in all the world, a doctor’s office? I mean, come on, I’m obviously there because I’m sick (sinus infection, thankyouverymuch), and you want to go add insult to injury? Fuck you. I hope you get violated and see how much you like it.

Let’s see if I can make an analogy. My mom’s car was stolen. It was recovered and fixed. The day after we got it back, my mom traded it in. She said it didn’t drive right. She’s probably right, it didn’t, not after that much damage was fixed. But at the same time, do you really think you’d want to drive a car that two teenage brats decided to take for a joyride? God knows I wouldn’t – it just wouldn’t be the same, whether they wrecked it and it was repaired, or it turns out they were the best drivers in the world. It’s just the fact that someone, who wasn’t you, took your stuff as their own. (And threw a picture of your daughter down a drain pipe, to boot.)

The whole story behind the status update of "F$%k me."

Seriously, sometimes you just have to sit back and ask yourself, “why me.” I mean, honestly. I’m a decent person. I think. I hope.

Started coming down with the start of a sinus infection, so I stayed home from work today so I could go to the doctor.

Now, let’s throw this out there – I love my doctor, been seeing her since 2003. On Monday of this week, she left the office she’d been in for about five years for a new office space, affiliated with UK Healthcare. I’ve dealt with the new call center twice this week and I was not happy either time. So, I walked in and saw Susan, the receptionist and immediately said, “I don’t like the new call center,” and she laughed and said, “Nobody does.” Ha! At least it’s not just me.

Due to the new transition, they handed me a giant clipboard full of stuff to fill out. Information I know they’ve had for years, but because it was a new computer system, I had to fill out again. Alright. And I needed my insurance card and photo ID when I returned it.

I go sit down, and set my car keys, Vera Bradley wristlet and my Nook (in it’s very awesome Nook case featuring a picture of my very photogenic daughter) down on the chair next to me and start telling UK Healthcare my name, address, employer, mother’s maiden name, father’s name (what the hell do they need that info for, especially because he’s been dead for a year and a half!), and other information that, I guess, proves I am who I am. I lost my insurance card a couple months ago, so I asked Scott to take a pic of his and text it to me so they could get the information. (Gotta love technology.)

As soon as I’m done signing my name on the line almost as many times as I did in the refinance paperwork, I head up to the desk with my clipboard, license and phone so I can finish checking in. I leave my wristlet, keys and Nook sitting on the chair, as I’m only walking about 20 feet away and am in plain sight of it the whole time.

Well, while I’m in the process of waiting on the girls to get their acts together to take my stuff, I glance over my shoulder. The chair that held my stuff was surprisingly empty. I looked around me, did I carry it to the desk with me and forgot? No. I just, in passing say, “Hey, my wallet’s gone.” Of course, the girls at the desk freak out and start asking questions. I go back to where I was and look all around, nowhere to be found. I ask the older couple that was sitting there, “Wasn’t my stuff right there?” The older man says, “I saw someone who was sitting at the end pick some stuff up.” Nice.

Now I will give you the God’s honest truth, I didn’t pay attention to the person on my left while I was signing my life away to UK Healthcare. So I don’t remember a thing about her, except for the fact it was a female. I couldn’t even tell you if she was black or white.

Apparently the old man immediately pointed to an older black lady on the other side of the divider and said something about how it was her. I know she didn’t move the whole time I was there, and that old woman is going off showing the insides of her purse, cursing, showing off the insides of the purse of the girl with her, etc. I said, “I didn’t accuse anyone, I just noticed my stuff went missing.” She goes, “But he did.”

Well, at that point, my name was called to go back. The office manager says she’ll call the police. I almost looked at her and said, “You know, this really isn’t important enough to get them involved.” But I figured I’d be quiet and let them do their thing. One of the other girls at the desk told me that I was amazingly more calm than I should have been. Eh, what was I going to do?

Renee, my nurse, went to weigh me and I was like, “Do I have to?” She laughed and said, that no, after what just happened, she’d let me out of it. (I got on the scale at home this morning. It was not a nice number. I don’t want to share that number with anyone, especially my doctor.)

So, we go into the room, and she does my BP, which, understandably is high, and we ran through the usual “why are you here,” bit. Then I cracked up laughing and said, “You know what’s really funny? I hope to God the person who took my Nook was a flaming liberal because I had the George W. and Laura Bush books on there.” She found that funny. (As did my doctor when I told her.) Here’s what’s kind of funny, while Renee and I were in there, a lady was out walking in the back and actually waved at us from outside. Renee was kind of confused because she goes, “They aren’t supposed to be able to look in.” Yeah, well, it seemed a bit odd she was back there anyway, but, what are you going to do?

My doctor comes in, and first off offers me a Xanex, which I shrug off. Eh. Stuff happens. We get down to the reason I’m there, which she confirms my suspicions, sinus infection. Yay! As we get ready to leave, I realize my car keys are among the missing items (why it didn’t hit me before then, I do not know).

My doctor gives me a hug as we’re walking down the hall and, once again, offers me a Xanex. I turn her down. Again.

The office manager then takes me to the break room where I’m, essentially, held hostage for about 20 minutes before the cop comes back to talk to me. Why they wouldn’t let me out to make sure my car was still in the parking lot (as was my fear as soon as I realized my keys were MIA), or anything else, was frustrating. But I used that time to text my friends and fill them in on what was going on. And lamented with one of the employees about how “this is Georgetown, this kind of thing isn’t supposed to happen in Georgetown.”

So, the cop finally comes back and talks to me – there’s a few miscommunciations going on – he thought it was a purse, to tell him I had a Vera Bradley wristlet was sort of over his head. When I said I had a Nook, he was just like, “A what?” Once I likened it to a Kindle, he was like, “oh.” He even asked me what it was worth and I told him and he goes, “The same as a Kindle.” Well, yeah. The biggest thing to me about the Nook was the fact I just got a new Nook case, and as such, had a picture of it on my phone, so I could at least show him that.

So, we go out and he wants me to show him where it happened, which I did, and then we went in the back again. This is when he tells me that he’s pretty sure he knows who did it, but he had nothing on her to prove it. He did stop and question her, and searched her car, but couldn’t find anything and she said she had to leave to go get her kid. He said she swore she’d be back. (Guess what, we left two hours later and she hadn’t returned yet. Weird, huh? Yeah, didn’t think so.) He believed her because her grandma was still at the office and she was grandma’s ride. (Side note, Grandma was the older lady who cursed and swore she had nothing to do with it.)

The cop walked me around the building and told me how someone said they saw this woman and her son digging, and burying stuff, in the new landscaping. But he took his baton and sifted through the mulch and came up with nothing. Then we walked a little further and said someone else said they saw this woman with a handful of credit cards – a green one on top – trying to stuff them between the sidewalk and the dirt of the yard. (I laughed and said, “yep, definitely mine, I just put the green card in my wallet this morning .” I just got it. It’s a Maurice’s store credit card.) Then he walked over to the drainage pipe and said they’ve been looking around in it, but it was full of water and had two paths off of it, so if they threw something in there, he didn’t know where it could have gone. There was a horse in a field next to the office and I said, “Hey, the horse saw it, someone go ask him!” The cop laughed and goes, “Yeah, Mr. Ed.”

So, he and I walked around told me that yet ANOTHER witness saw her digging around in the rocks. I looked at him and said, “Well, we saw her outside the window while I was back to see the doctor and she waved at us.” He goes, “Weird.” Of course she waved. The only other thing she could have done that was more appropriate was flick me off.

So, we saw another drainage pipe, but there was nothing down there. There was a third one, and he shines his flashlight and goes, “Hey, do you know what that is?” Down at the bottom of the drainage pipe was my Nook case. Face down, but I knew it was my Nook case. It was a little too deep for him to get to the bottom, but luckily there were builders working on a building next door who helped us fish it out. (No, they didn’t see anything, so they were no real help as far as that’s concerned.) They fished it out, and my beautiful Nook case, featuring my gorgeous daughter, is now covered in mud, is wet, and is (unsurprisingly) empty. My wristlet was down there – also empty. Car keys still missing. Of course.

Two office workers, the cop, and I traipse around the field behind the office looking for the keys, thinking they could have been tossed out there, but the fact is, if they were, there wasn’t a shot in hell we’d find them. (Which, let’s throw this one out there – it would have been really easy to find my car. Hit the panic button and see which one went off. But she apparently didn’t do that, because everything in my car was untouched. And she best be grateful cause if she stole – or messed with my car in any way – I would be ready to kill.)

So, after all that, and after I talk to Scott and he’s on his way to come get me (because, after all, I can’t take my car anywhere without keys – but he’s got a spare key, so it’s not like we couldn’t get the car home – so nah, nah on that bitch who thought she might be able to steal my car later). I head back into the office to give them the insurance card that finally came through e-mail, and ask if the doctor would be willing to give me something for my migraine. Walk in with a sinus infection, walk out with a migraine. Woohoo! (They did end up giving me a shot of Torodol, God love them.)

Afterwards, the police officer informs me he does know who did it, he’s got enough on her, and knows she’s on probation. He said that, if the items are not returned to him by 8 a.m. tomorrow, he’s got enough for a warrant, if nothing else, but he assured me she would be going to jail. Woohoo.

He even told Scott while I was in the back getting my shot that I was a lot calmer than most. Scott told him it wasn’t that, but that I internalize stuff. Yeah, I do. But honestly, what good would it have done me to start pointing fingers and flip out? It’s just stuff. In reality, I’ll get a new Nook – I’ve cancelled all the credit/debit cards that were in my wallet – the only thing I’m even remotely pissed about at this point is a) my beautiful Nook case is now tainted and b) I WANT MY CAR KEYS! I just got the remote working a week and a half ago, dammit!

So, now I just sit back to wait to hear from the cop tomorrow.

It is important to note, when we left, the grandma did come up and apologize profusely to me. I said, “This stuff happens.” She goes, “No, not with her.” Um, apparently, yes, with her. I really didn’t know what to say. I mean, what did she want from me? She didn’t take it, she didn’t owe me an apology. Her grandkid’s a fuck-up, not really her fault. The police are involved, and therefore, it’s beyond my control. Did she want me to take pity and say I wasn’t going to let him take her granddaughter in? Not gonna happen. Enjoy the cell, babe. I’ll wave at you from outside.

Come on, you know I had an opinion about Bin Laden (warning - conservative content ahead)

I’m going to warn you all this post is going to be all over the place. Be prepared for an ADD-style post.

Okay, so the news comes out yesterday that Bin Laden is (finally) dead – shot in the left eye by Navy SEALS (based out of Virginia Beach – way to go boys back home!). I’m not saying it’s a bad thing he’s dead, however, it’s not reason to celebrate in the streets. It will get worse, someone will take over Al Quada – it’s not like you cut off the head and the body dies. No, it will regenerate, and be even more pissed off. Be prepared. I feel sorry for anyone flying in the next few days – the TSA is going to be crazy insane. (Which is funny because do you really think they are going to do it the same way a second time? Highly unlikely. But now is not the time for my reactive TSA-policies rant.)

My thoughts on Islam tradition
Last night, moments after the news was announced, they said the body was in U.S. custody. Which sent me into a tailspin because I fully believe that was wrong. I don’t care if you had to DNA test the body (yet other stories claim he was identified via facial recognition), Muslims have their own rituals regarding death, and I don’t care how much he was hated, he deserved as much to have his body handled in the way his religion dictated. Some people might argue that he didn’t deserve anything. That’s fine, believe what you want. But if it were a U.S. soldier who was killed, don’t you think we’d throw a fit if his body was not immediately shipped back here so we could do whatever it is that would need to be done?

I admit, I did make the low-blow joke on my Facebook page that, of course Obama will make sure the rituals are followed since he is a Muslim. Look, it was a joke. I don’t care what religion he is. This country was founded on religious tolerance. For the love of all things holy, let’s not be the biggest hypocrites in the world. (We get enough of that for other things.)

A story was placed on Reuters that Obama was making sure to adhere to Muslim traditions. According to the news this morning, he was buried at sea 12 hours after his death.

Of course, no one knows if the traditions regarding prayers and body cleansing were followed. By all rights, doesn’t his family deserve to be the ones to dispose of the body and not the U.S. government? That just seems a little cocky on our part.

I did read a story that ripped them to shreds for burying him at sea, as it was not Islamic custom. I did a little bit more internet digging – and whereas it’s not the preferred method (as is evidenced by the Wiki site this story quoted), it is an option if it is feared that an enemy may dig up the grave and exhume the dead body and amputate its ears or nose or other limbs, it should be lowered into sea, if possible.

Other Muslim scholars are up in arms over it because burial at sea is only permitted if death occurred on a ship. I don’t claim to be a scholar of Islam, but I find it extremely arrogant on the part of the United States to have handled it. It was not our place. Particularly if those performing the act are not versed in Muslim culture (which, generally speaking, they are not – unless, of course, Obama really is Muslim).

The only way we could have provided a bigger slap in the face to the nation of Islam and its traditions is if we cremated the body, which is, in fact, not allowed. Period. End of story. But they have their rites and rituals and it is cocky as hell of us to say, “nope, sorry, cause he masterminded and funded multiple attacks on American citizens, we’re going to say the hell with your religion and do what we want.”

Okay … beat that one into the ground … of course, that is my biggest pet peeve regarding this whole thing.

Virginia Beach-based SEAL team did the deed
I’m very proud to have the ties to Virginia Beach I do, I always have been. I’m proud of our military and what they do, and I’m proud to have as much military in our family as we do. I think it’s awesome that a SEAL team from Virginia Beach did the deed.

However, one might need to remember, it might have been prudent to keep that information secret. As one of the posts on the story said, “These people have families here, and now they will be a target for violence.” I hope names are not released for that very reason.

If you think I’m grasping at straws for this one, think again. I happen to know someone whose husband was taken POW during the Iran Contra affair, and they lived in a perpetual state of paranoia. She never went to and from work the same way twice in a row, she received disturbing phone calls … and this was just because he was a POW, not someone who killed a prominent leader in a terrorist group. You have to think these guys, and their families, while heroes stateside, are the enemy to the members of the terrorist group.

Obama deserves no credit for this
Sorry guys, he didn’t pull the trigger. He doesn’t deserve to be heralded as the hero. Sure, he authorized the op – but any president, regardless of who it was, would have to, and would have. It’s not rocket science.

It’s a little too convenient
Alright now I get to go into conspiracy theory mode, because it’s fun.

Obama’s having a rough time. He’s getting shit on by the Republicans because of the economy. So, what’s he do? Release a birth certificate that he should have done FOUR YEARS AGO, which provides this dog and pony show over on the side to detract from the other issues for which he’s getting harped on.

But wait, that birth certificate thing didn’t go over as well as planned. People still think it’s fake. Oh no, what can I do? I know – let’s kill Bin Laden! Woot. Nothing like a dead terrorist to make me look like a hero as I kick off my re-election campaign. Someone, please, please give me money so I can run this country into the ground for another four years!

It just seems a little too well-timed. Could it be coincidence? Possibly. I’m not going to go out on a limb and say that I know for certain this was well-orchestrated in an attempt to boost Obama’s ratings. But it does seem rather well-timed for that, doesn’t it?

There are other theories, that Al Quada actually sacrificed Bin Laden. They let this happen. He had fallen out of favor with a lot of them. He was dying of kidney disease, maybe this was his way of martyring himself.

There’s also the theory, related to the kidney disease issue, that he’s been dead for awhile, and they chose to release it when they did, to boost Obama’s ratings (see above). I can understand where people came from on this one, it’s been rumored he was dead multiple times.

I don’t have one general belief over the other. But I’m skeptical to the point that I don’t think the timing was happenstance. I don’t know why, but it just seems too surreal that Osama Bin Laden is dead. It doesn’t seem right. The man successfully eluded capture for over 10 years, and he got shot in the eye during a fire fight in a $1 million home in Pakistan? Something doesn’t add up.

Media coverage (*climbing on a higher soapbox*)
Well-known fact #1: I have a Journalism degree.
Well-known fact #2: I have been a reporter, and rather enjoyed it.
Well-known fact #3: I do NOT like the general media – which is why I am currently not a part of it.

I hate the “we have to be the first to break the story so we’ll print whatever, regardless of validity and reliability of sources.” I hate the cut-throat tactics and lack of morals. I hate that the media is controlled by politics.

The point is to present the goings-on in an unbiased fashion. Present both sides of the story so the general public can make educated decisions.

But that’s not what happens.

Because the media is so heavily divided by party lines, conservatives get half the story (the one that paints the libs in a bad light) – libs get half the story (one that paints the conservatives in a bad light), and they end up fighting over who is right and who is wrong.

Really, I think someone missed the point somewhere.

All the conflicting information regarding Osama Bin Laden’s death that floated around last night – and still today – is disgusting. Further proof the media has lost touch with its original purpose.
(*climbing off super-high soapbox*)

Grow up
Look, I understand the hurt and the pain families suffered at the hands of Bin Laden as a result of 9/11. But I’ve said this for years, and I’ll say it again, you must heal. You must move on. Your loved ones wouldn’t want you to continue this way, and there’s no way you can successfully heal until you accept it and move forward. I’ve dealt with unexpected death. I’ve dealt with suckerpunches. You get up and keep going. If you let them consume you, the enemy wins. I don’t care what happens, if you’re still mired in all of this, they still win. Which is what they wanted. Don’t let them. Use it as a learning experience. Use it to grow. Don’t use it as a crutch, hindering you from actually living your life.

Now, I’m not saying to forget 9/11. It’s a reminder that we are not invincible and we have to be ever-vigilant. It was amazing to see people unite after this happened. Because of that fact, those people did not die in vain. It’s a shame that unity within our country had to come at such a great cost, and perhaps we should use that as a lesson.

American supremacy
I will close with the fact that I despise American supremacy. (I’m a full-blown isolationist. I fully believe in keeping our business to ourselves unless otherwise requested. And even then we must proceed with caution. Fuck Teddy Roosevelt’s big stick, let’s worry about our own problems at home before we start trying to fix everyone else’s.)

The reason other countries hate us is because we go in and say, “hey, you don’t do it the way we do, you are therefore wrong, and we will destroy you – but then help build you back up in the way we see fit.” It’s arrogant. It’s rude. It’s wrong.

Anyone who doesn’t see people rejoicing in the streets over a man’s death as arrogant is not paying attention. We rejoice in the wrong things. We don’t need to rub anyone’s face in anything, as we are not without sin and therefore we do not need to be casting stones. But we do. Cause we’re a super-power and we have nukes. Yeah, and? We will also have a huge death toll when it gets nasty – which it will.

Honestly, just because Bin Laden is dead does not mean we need to go around chanting, “U.S.A.” Perhaps, if we weren’t so fucking arrogant in the first place,  Al Quada wouldn’t have to exist and they wouldn’t have had to “teach us a lesson” on 9/11. But you know, what do I know? I’m just a conservative, and according to my liberal friends, am inherently wrong because of that fact.

Okay ... not gun-toting yet. But it'll happen. :)
(Grammar Nazi note, the lack of necessary hyphens
in this graphic drives me insane.)

I will end with a note here - I'm all about generating *intelligent* conversation and introducing multiple points of view. Let us, however, please keep it civil.

"Extreme Couponing" highlights extreme psychotics

Scott and I got sucked into this new series, “Extreme Couponing” the other day. It was like a trainwreck. When I first saw the title, I was like, “pshaw.” But then you get sucked in, because you hear them tell tales of 400 rolls of paper towels they didn’t pay a dime for, which are stacked everywhere in their house. At that point you’re intrigued because you think, “Hey, I want 400 rolls of free paper towels.”

That’s where the intrigue stops, and the “OMG” factor starts.

They show you these crazy stockpiles everywhere in these people’s homes – basements, spare bathrooms, under their kids’ beds, in their master bedroom, of all this stuff they bought for nothing or next to nothing.

The disgust sets in. These people have a mini-grocery store in their basement with all the dish detergent, paper towels, toilet paper, Clorox wipes, condiments, chips, etc. that anyone could ever want. What do these people do? They get on national TV showing off these hoards (that’s exactly what they are, don’t sugar-coat it) and how they can’t be content to use what they have in their stash, but how they go shopping four times a week to add to it.

What. The. Hell.

How greedy do you have to be to have such a stash of food, cleaning supplies, and hygiene items that you have to continually add to the stash? Scott said it right, the show Extreme Couponing should be followed directly by an episode of “Hoarding: Buried Alive” (which, side note, is NOT as good as “Hoarders,” but it’s the hoarding show on the same network as “Extreme Couponing”).

First of all, I was appalled, simply appalled, that these women stashed this stuff instead of donating it to a homeless shelter or some other type of charity that could use the donation. The stuff sitting in your basement is doing the world less good than the stuff sitting on the shelves of the store. At least on the shelves of the store there’s a possibility (albeit remote) that someone would buy them for a good cause. Seriously, people, use your insane couponing abilities for good rather than evil.

Here’s another thing – these women would get 10-20 papers a week to go through the coupons. See, what they don’t tell you is how much they spend on papers to get the coupons. Insanity. The one chick spends SIX hours preparing for ONE OF FOUR weekly trips. REALLY??? I don’t have that kind of time to sift through papers, work out the best deals, etc. I’m entirely lucky I can fit grocery shopping into my schedule, let alone six hours to prepare for it. If I have a list I’m doing better than usual.(Besides, six hours of my time, at my freelance rate - or even my hourly rate at work - will more than cover a grocery trip, without coupons. I'm just saying.)

Here’s another thing they don’t mention. After sifting through 20 papers, and clipping coupons (the one lady gets her seven kids to help), how much of a mess is there to clean up? I sure as hell hope to God they are recycling those newspapers they hoard since we know they aren’t being nice and donating what they get.

The one lady said she started couponing because her husband lost his job and she was afraid she would not be able to continue the life SHE was accustomed to living. What a selfish bitch. It’s not even about saving her family money, or trying to ease the pursestrings a bit, but because SHE wants to be able to go out with the girls on the weekends and have a glass of wine. Or, I’m sure, to purchase those $300-looking hooker boots of which she wore for her shopping trip.

This brings me to the shopping trip – this woman checked out $1,900+ of groceries and paid $103 and change. REALLY??? Of course, she bought 62 bottles of mustard. That’s a six followed by a two. (She had enough coupons to get 77 of them. But they ran out of bottles on the shelf.) Who the hell needs 62 bottles of mustard? I don’t think, in my entire life, I’ve ever had enough mustard to constitute six bottles of mustard, let alone 62.  

One of the other ladies featured got $500+ worth of groceries for $5.97.

That’s insane.

Of course, thinking about the lady with the 62 bottles of mustard, they were buying things just because they could. Another lady picked up five containers of Viactiv calcium supplements because they were on clearance, and she had coupons. They weren’t on her list, but she bought them just because she could save some money. Really? I have a tendency to save money by buying only what I need.

One of the observations I made was that these women are shopping based on coupons. Which means they aren’t buying fresh produce. They aren’t buying fresh meat from the meat department. About the healthiest thing they are able to purchase is yogurt and frozen vegetables. I don’t know about you, but I personally don’t mind the slight hike in my grocery bill during the summer when I can get beautiful, fresh strawberries and sweet corn and stuff like that. I’d much rather go for quality over buying some crap just because I can save $0.75 on it. (That is, of course, if I'm buying it at the store and not a farmer's market, but reference the lack of time above, I take it where I can get it.)

This is not to say that watching this show didn’t get me to pay more attention to coupons online and pick up a subscription to the Sunday paper. Because I did. I know for a fact I’ve missed out on a lot of savings because I forgot to check coupons before I left or I left my coupons at home, or I let them expire, or my mom took all the good ones before I got to raid her paper, or whatever. I’m sure those things will still happen. And I’m okay with that. I’m only human. But, being human, it doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy saving $20 or $30 when I go grocery shopping either.

As an aside, crazy couponing-hooker boot wearing lady is being investigated for coupon fraud. What is coupon fraud? According to this article, it’s using the coupon for things that are not actually listed on the coupon. I know I’ve had coupons not work because I didn’t buy EXACTLY what was on the coupon, and the system knew that by matching up the info based on the UPC and the barcode on the coupon, so honestly, I don’t know how this can happen. But you have to admit, when saving $1,800 on groceries, someone’s got to raise an eyebrow. The math doesn’t work for me – that would mean they’d have enough coupons to get almost every item for free… if I remember correctly, each of her bottles of mustard worked out to $0.39. Doing the math, that’s $24.18 just in mustard. That’s a quarter of the total bill she paid for that shopping trip. Something isn’t working out. I don’t know how her sorceress ways work, so I’ll go with coupon fraud until proven otherwise!