I heard on the radio today that a random poll was conducted in New Hampshire about possible Republican candidates for the 2012 election.
The winner, amazingly enough, was Donald Trump. His was a random name thrown in, but as a result of his win, he’s now considering a run.
Let’s take a walk down a potential presidential run by The Donald.
First of all, his win doesn’t really surprise me much. I’m sure people think he’d be the Ross Perot of the 21st century. (Believe me, not many voted for Perot, but in hindsight, a lot of people wish they had.) Anyway, he’s the tycoon coming in as an underdog, but he could have awesome presentations (PowerPoint rather than graphs on posters, of course), and he wouldn’t need to be paid, so he could totally bypass the salary, just like Perot offered to do.
Who would his running mate be? So many options. You’ve got his daughter, who is pretty much his right-hand (wo)man on The Apprentice. You’ve got Bret Michaels who was the most recent Celebrity Apprentice winner. (Yes, I would vote for the ticket on that fact alone. Don’t judge me.) I’d say Piers Morgan from the first Celebrity Apprentice, but he’s British. (I don’t hate on the Brits, far from it, but come on, a Brit doesn’t need to be the American VP. Nor could he be, but I’m not sure.) Or, you know, Donald’s hairpiece could be his running mate too.
Actually, an awesome running mate for The Donald might actually be Vince McMahon, the CEO of WWE (formerly WWF before the whole World Wildlife Fund debacle – because you can so get pandas and guys hopped up on steroids prancing around in tights confused – but I digress). He’s got the attitude, plus he’s got a ton of wrestlers at his beck and call who will put the Secret Service to shame, I’m sure. Can you imagine them hanging out at the polling places? “Vote for Trump/McMahon – or you’ll have a date with The Undertaker.”
Wow, I’m liking this one more and more, actually. Plus, how entertaining would it be to have vice presidential candidate debates with Vinnie Mac and his wrestlers around? I mean, if he didn’t like what Biden had to say, or if Biden wouldn’t shut up, he could sic Edge on him or something. Kim Jung Il is no match for Stone Cold Steve Austin. Hmmm.
Back to The Donald. Think how entertaining speeches would be. Particularly ones in which he would be appointing people (“you’re hired”) – or even better, firing them. Of course, Vince McMahon would have to be around for the firing too, because nothing’s better than a “You’re fired” from both of them.
The American image suffers overseas. It has for a long time, but it’s gotten worse lately. (I’ll keep my comments to myself as to why I feel it’s gotten worse.) Who better to fix that than The Donald and Vinnie Mac, who are, after all, marketing gurus.
What about the national debt? Forget about it. The Donald can take care of that. He can also pull us out of this recession. Recession is not a word in The Donald’s vocabulary. Do you need a job? Well, let’s just build another Trump Tower to take care of that.
What would The Donald give the Queen of England when he visits her? Not an iPod full of his own speeches, oh no. He’d give her a spot on the next Celebrity Apprentice. WIN!
What about when the bids come in for the next Olympics? Will Chicago fail miserably this time? Nope, not when the Donald is around. He can make Chi-town, or anywhere else in the USA, be a haven for the Olympic committee. The Olympics would no longer be brought to you by Coca-Cola, but rather by Trump Enterprises (or whatever the hell his company is called these days) instead. Yep. That would be awesome.
What about those town hall meetings in which presidential supporters show their disdain and make a statement that they are still waiting for all they were promised? Not for The Donald and Vinnie Mac. Nope, if someone said she was still waiting for the bailout that was promised, The Donald would cut her a check and Vinnie Mac would deliver it to her. Talk about a stimulus check.
Yep, I think Donald Trump would be an awesome Republican candidate on the 2012 ticket.
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