Johnny Depp would be hot doing anything, so screw you Michael Eisner!

How can you hate the perfection
that is Captain Jack? Sure he needs
a shower, but still...

Johnny Depp: 'Disney hated Jack Sparrow'

Actor Johnny Depp has said that his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates Of The Caribbean was not liked by Disney bosses.
I’ve actually read this before. Rumor is they were going to fire him, but Bruckheimer convinced them to let him do his thing. Good thing you listened to him, huh Disney?

In an interview with Vanity Fair, the actor said former chief executive Michael Eisner "couldn't stand" the way he interpreted the role.
Seriously, Eisner is, by many, to be thought of as the downfall of Disney, so who gives a damn what he thought? Let’s put this in perspective – Eisner is out, Depp is still in and playing Jack Sparrow for the fourth time. Seems to me like Johnny’s still laughing all the way to the bank.

Depp went on to earn an Oscar nomination for his performance.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha Michael Eisner. Yeah, once he got that nomination you liked his performance, didn’t you? Once you saw how much money the Pirates movie made, you liked his performance, didn’t you? What the hell do you know, anyway, Michael Eisner? Seeing as how you got fired, I would venture to say, not much.

As far as the award nomination goes … I knew he wouldn’t win, especially given the nature of the movie for which he was nominated, but I would have loved to have seen it.  He’s been nominated for Best Actor three times (once for Pirates, for J.M. Barrie in Finding Neverland – of which he was phenomenal, and for Sweeny Todd) and I think the man deserves to win. He’s an amazing actor, and the main reason he doesn’t win is because he walks to the beat of his own drummer, and we all know the Academy doesn’t always reward that. I, however, applaud it.

A Disney spokesman said the company "could not be happier" with his work.
Well, duh. He made them a shit-ton of money with his work, I’m sure they are happy. Had this spokesman said something during the filming of the first one, I’m sure it would have been PC, but perhaps not quite so positive.

"The entire team at Disney could not be happier with Johnny Depp's performances in the Pirates trilogy which is why we are so excited to be bringing back a fourth installment to audiences next summer," he added.
“The entire team at Disney could not be happier with Johnny Depp’s performances in the Pirates trilogy – and all the money we made as a result – which is why we are so excited to be bringing back a fourth installment to audiences next summer – which will bring us even more money,” he meant.

"I think it was Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, who was quoted as saying, 'he's ruining the movie'," Depp said.
Johnny Depp ruin a movie. Impossible.

The actor also revealed that Mr Eisner had questioned whether he was "some kind of simpleton" or even drunk when acting in the movie.
Grammar Nazi moment: See the Mr up there? Direct copy/paste from the original story – it’s missing the necessary period to make it an abbreviation.

I’ve also heard that Eisner questioned if he was portraying Sparrow as gay. (Homophobe much, Eisner?) Who the hell cares??? It was an awesome performance.

Depp famously based the character on the Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, who appeared in Dead Men's Chest, which was the sequel to the first film.
The movie, which also starred Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom, was a huge box office success and a third film, At World's End, was released in 2007.
Reporter side note: This is one thing I don’t miss doing, and that’s stating the obvious. Whenever you write a story, even if it’s part of a series, you always do a summary of the previously-known information for anyone who missed the beginning of the series – or in this case, lived under a rock for the last three years. I always hated it because you can only rewrite something so many ways before you are just doing nothing but repeating yourself. That and to someone reading these stories, it seems like a duh, so why bother? They don’t know it’s standard procedure, it just looks stupid to them.

Depp is currently filming a fourth installment - On Stranger Tides - which is due out next year.
I’m excited because I hate the ninny Will was, so I’m excited for a movie that’s all Captain Jack and less about ninny Will and his obsession with Elizabeth. I’m so glad he and Kiera Knightly decided not to come back for this one. (Side note, I’m not anti-Kiera Knightly – I think she’s insanely beautiful and has the most perfect cheekbones I have ever seen. But her little romance with Will was more than just a little irritating.)

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And - just because it's my blog and I can, here's a gallery of Johnny Depp shots for you all to drool over, since I know this blog entry is far from my usual biting sarcasm - I must redeem myself somehow. Enjoy.

All I have to say is ...  

damn that Vanessa Paradis is one mighty lucky woman.

His list

I told Scott that I posted my list yesterday and he goes, "How many?" I hung my head and said, "Ten."

"Ten," he asks.

"Yeah, well, five didn't seem like enough," I replied. He laughed.

So before bed I asked him who was currently on his list.

Morgan Fairchild has always been on the list, and I think until she dies she'll be on it (and who knows, maybe even after, I don't know).

Carrie Underwood makes his list. I didn't know he was that into her (but I have to give him this, she is pretty), but he informed me she was on the list after we watched "How I Met Your Mother" last night.

The blonde chick from "Chuck" made the list. Don't remember her name, but I don't think her name is important to him.

Bridget Wilson (the blonde chick from "Billy Madison") also makes the list. He has pretty much drooled over her as long as I've known him, so he's nothing if not consistent.

I can't be the only one with a "Bones" crush, so of course Emily Deschanel made the list. (He would, of course, prefer she be with her sister Zooey in that fantasy.)

I mentioned Maggie Lawson (Jules from "Psych") and he was like, "Uhh, okay." Heaven forbid I pick out a woman who matches a majority of the stereotype of his list. Guess it doesn't count much when your wife picks out your dream girl, huh?

There were one or two more, but they were sort of afterthoughts. But you know, I have ten, so he's entitled to ten. Unlike me, though, he has to think about it. Should that fact say more about me or him???

It's nice to have an active fantasy life.

You know what's funny, most of the guys on my list are nothing like Scott ... and most of the chicks on his list are nothing like me. Guess it's the thrill of something different.

The List

Everyone has their "to do" list. Below, mine ... this is my "to do (in my dreams)" list.

In reality, the truth is that Scott and I each have a list. The rule is if anyone from the list pays any lick of attention to either of us, we are granted a "get out of marriage" free card, no hurt feelings, no harm, no foul.

So, here's my list ... in no particular order.

Keith Urban

Seriously ... do you have to question me on this one? Shaggy blond hair (a weakness of mine), beautiful blue eyes (another weakness of mine), all wrapped up in a short package with a fantastic accent (enter third weakness of mine). Lastly, the man can sing... and since I love being sung to, that's seriously happiness.

Sure, he was addicted to cocaine and alcohol ... he's not too proud, he went to rehab. :) The biggest problem is that addiction to Nicole Kidman ... I mean, sheesh, I thought he had some taste, but, well, I have my own theories about their (*cough* contract *cough*) marriage. But you know, since I'm dreaming, I can always dream she never existed.

Johnny Depp

This is another one I don't think really needs much explanation and I wish I could say I wasn't a member of the Johnny Depp bandwagon, but I am. I always have liked him, all the way back to his 21 Jump Street days.

I really think it's more than just his looks. He's so laid back, he's amazingly talented, and he's so dedicated to his family. I mean, he put filming on hold because his daughter was in the hospital and I think that's so sweet.

On top of it all, he walks to the beat of his own drummer, and I always like someone who is willing to stand out from the crowd. God love Johnny Depp.

  Jason Statham

Take one look at this man and tell me why you wouldn't wanna pounce on that! I'm not really one for really ripped guys, but he's different. Part of it's the martial arts he does, and that's just freaking cool ... part of it is that killer accent (see a pattern here?) ... and part of it is the amazing driving the man can do. (Yes, as I understand it, he did a lot of his stunt driving for the Transporter movies.)

*drool*

Mark Wahlberg

Yeah, yeah, another ripped guy. But let me say that I am not a fan of Marky Mark, I am a fan of Mark Wahlberg. The guy after he was done with that rapping crap and Calvin Klein ads and grew up and started acting. But seriously, he makes bad movies worth watching. He's just yummy. And I dare you to say he's not because I will kick your ass.

He's just got that "I can take this guy home to mom" feel to him. He strikes me as a cuddler though (shoot, he's got like four kids), which isn't my style, but you know, for him ... I might learn.

Chris Pine

You know, he sort of slipped by me. I always thought the guy from "Princess Diaries 2" was hot, but I was just sitting here watching it for the upteenth time (yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I like the PD movies ... get your insults out and keep reading) and I just saw Chris Pine in a new light. He's just, well, wow.

It's pathetic, but I actually got mad at Mia in PD2 for ignoring him. If Munchkin hadn't been sleeping, I would have screamed "If you don't want him, I'll take him," at the TV.

David Boreanaz

Booth, oh Booth. Why must you be obsessed with Temperance Brennan? Why not me?

Okay, well, he's so much more than just Booth. He's just yummy. Yeah, he's another ripped one, when I just said I wasn't that big into ripped guys, but don't judge me. I know what I like. And I like that.

Bret Michaels

Don't judge me for my 80s hair band crush that never went away. I know he's got the crazy lips and all, but I have always had a thing for Bret Michaels and have never been able to explain it. He's just got that bad-boy look (and I've always been attracted to the bad boys - despite the fact I married the safest one out there) . And he can sing, and we all know I love that.

Mark Feuerstein

Dr. Hank, oh Dr. Hank. Here's the "good boy" that I actually like. I love me some Dr. Hank. For some reason, I imagine in real life that Mark Feuerstein is a lot like Dr. Hank. He's just safe. You can look at him and see stability, and maybe that balances out the aforementioned Bret Michaels/bad boy crush.

Trace Adkins

Holy hell, he's tall ... he can sing ... he has long hair ... and he is so down to earth. Believe me, my mom would not be upset if I brought him home. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if she fought me for him.

Matthew Morrison

Shue from Glee ... and you know what the worst part is? I didn't realize I had that much of a crush on him until I had a dream with him in it the other night and I was so pissed off that I woke up.








The men on this list are subject to change without notice. Just because a man's rank is demoted from "The List" to "Runner Up" does not demean his looks. It just means someone hotter has come along.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to drool over some pictures before the Munchkin wakes up and demands my full attention...