Aro , my old friend .

It's been centuries .
- Carlisle Cullen



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Hello my fellow readers !

For the next couple of posts , the first thing I would spend a few minutes talking about is the weather . And the weather is indeed , hot as hell .

Although I do not believe that hell is all around hot and sticky . Sometimes hell is a cold and chilly place and that's why , I'm moving down there instead of living up here .

I mean , it's so damn bloody hot nowadays .

It's so hot that farmers have to feed their chickens crushed ice to prevent
the chickens from laying hard boiled eggs !

Seriously .You can feel the heat waves although there isn't much sunlight . Heck , I'm sweating right now and I don't even notice it coming .

My pores are swollen due to the excessive amount of sweat pouring out like the Niagara Falls . It's so hot , that you realize asphalt has a liquid state !

You can literally bake an ice cream without needing to use oil or flour whatsoever . The water in your toilet bowl automatically boils and you'd think Ju-On is about to pop out and say " damn , turn on the air conditioner , will ya ? "

No seriously . I can't take the heat anymore . It's too much for me to handle . Everyday , it's the same old story .. weather weather weather .

It's so fucking hot that I think I just experienced condensation on my butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl .

You wouldn't believe the where this extent of my hilariously funny jokes above comes from . Because of the weather , all sorts of somewhat funny lines are spilling out of me . It's unnatural .

Just the other day due to the outrageous weather , I think I've suffered
third degree burns on my hand just by trying to open the car door .

Yes , we can all learn a thing or two about the weather . This is a lesson to all that pollution is at it's highest level . You learn that the world is dying and no one bothers to care about it . Surprisingly , you will also learn that no matter how hard one , two or ten people try to reduce pollution , it won't be good enough . And also ,

You will learn that the seat belt
makes a pretty good branding iron .

So , my fellow readers . Let's us all help by reducing the usage of air-conditioners all around Malaysia , not only for me but for the entire world as well .

And while you guys start turning off your air-conditioner , I'm turning on mine .

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To distract ourselves from the heat , how about a little Whose Line video to calm our nerves and hope we don't flood our house with our own sweat .

I found out that Azrul watches Whose Line Is It Anyway too . Which doesn't make me , a dork . Or , doesn't make me the ONLY dork .



To start it off , here are some of Colin and Ryan's Infomercial .

It's a great scene , where both actors have to improvise and use whatever they have in the given box and sell that as a miracle product .

These are really great videos and worth the watch .


Enjoy .

"Because the chicks love it ! "

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My dear readers , I have received an email that contains definitions of certain words that are so true , that they should be in dictionaries .

So for today , I'm going to share these words and its definitions with you . Just for laughs .





Adult : A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is growing in the middle .

Beauty parlor : A place where women curl up and dye .

Cannibal : A person who is fed up with people .

Chickens : The only animal that you eat before they are born and once their dead .

Committee : A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours .

Mosquito : An insect that makes you like flies better .

Raisin : A grape with a sunburn .

Secret : Something you tell to one person at a time .

Skeleton : A bunch of bones with the person scrapped off .

Toothache : The pain that drives you to extraction .

Handkerchief : Cold storage .

Dust : Mud with the juice squeezed out .

Yawn : An honest opinion openly expressed .

For some of you neanderthals out there , these definitions are NOT true . It's just for laughs , please do not take it seriously and tell your class teacher straight that an adult is when a person stops growing at both ends and starts growing in the middle .

She will either give you a slap , or her phone number !






And hey , how about feasting your eyes on some of these facts that only a handful of people know about ?

I got these facts through a book I found at home while I was searching for my shorts . I wonder what's a book doing in my closet ..

Anyways . Here we go .




Did you know it's impossible to lick your elbow ?

Did you know , a crocodile can't stick its tongue out ?

Did you know , it is physically impossible for a pig to look up to the sky ?

Did you know , a pregnant goldfish is called a ' twit ' ?

Sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language .

If you sneeze too hard , you can fracture a rib . If you try to suppress a sneeze , you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die . If you keep your eyes open by force , they can pop out .

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times .

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere .

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why .

A blind person can dream .

Animals can dream .

If you are snoring , it means you are not dreaming .

The electric chair was invented by a dentist .

The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven .

Thomas Edison , creator of the lightbulb , was afraid of the dark .

101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don’t die throughout the movie .

A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in the world in relation to its size ( and you thought yours was big ) .

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.

Both Hitler and Napoleon were missing one testicle .

Over 70% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

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Oh well , I think my job here is done fore the moment .

I'm really tired as there's so much going on in school , at home and in my mind that's making me sweat my pores out and burn my pubes to ashes .

I hope you guys enjoyed this post and I'll see you some other time .

Till than ,





- Jaden -