Chase bank can *&ck off (again)

*If you missed the first installment of this exciting time in my life, click here.*

So ... we get a follow-up to my diatribe.

First came the mortgage lady's e-mail to the processor "What do I say to this other than it is what it is?"

Like that wasn't enough. Then I read this from the processor himself:

"Currently the home was appraised in "as is" condition. Simply put what this means is the home is worth X amount of dollars in the condition that it is in. There are is some deferred maintenance that should be done, but might not be required. These items do not have a direct impact on the homes final value they are just notes for items that should be done. Our policy states that as long as the property is habitable, is protected from the outside element, meets local and state building codes and the value and marketability is not affected we should be ok to close with them within reason.

There are some majors items that need to be completed prior to close. For example No utilities, foundation defect, mold, and FHA defects suck as peeling paint and other health and safety issues.

I am not an appraisal, but the issue with the home's value seems to be a direct relationship between the comparable sales in the area." 

Let's pull a few sections out, shall we?

"These items do not have a direct impact on the homes final value they are just notes for items that should be done."

I don't know about you, but I'm having a hard time swallowing the pill that this guy who couldn't even make it to my house on time and then lied to the bank about it ... or this faceless processor in Columbus, OH have any right to tell me ANYTHING that should be done to my house. I believe that's my call and not theirs.

 

"There are some major items that need to be completed prior to close." 

Did I read that right?

I'm assuming he is insinuating these are the types of things that must be completed prior to close - not that they are wrong with our house. (Because, if they are wrong with our house, then I'm missing it ... and I think I'd know if we didn't have utilities.) But methinks someone needs to grasp English grammar and sentence syntax (or at the very least, proofread an e-mail) before sending something.

"I am not an appraisal, but the issue with the home's value seems to be a direct relationship between the comparable sales in the area." 

That's right, you're not an appraisal. Perhaps you're not even an appraiser. To me you're just a jackass in a suit. Regardless ... there's a house on the corner that has 150 less square feet than my house, it does not have a deck or a fence like mine does, but yet it sold for exactly what they are telling me mine is worth. EXPLAIN THAT! Granted, the yard is about 900 square feet bigger, but it's all easement which means it's technically not their property anyway. So, I go back to my original question - how the hell can these be comparable?

Laura and Chris need to build their house so we can use it as a comp to get our appraisal to work out. 

But, as I said in my e-mail back to her ... it is what it is, and refinancing isn't in the cards right now. I'm just pissed we're out the $395 for the worthless-ass appraisal. 

And, for the final in this trilogy... click here.