Before you go any further, if you haven't read the first two parts of this story, click here and here.
Sure we’re not going to get to refinance, and therefore get a lower interest rate and save $265 a month in mortgage payments. At the same time, though, I don’t have to worry about this dumbass appraiser anymore, returning phone calls to the bank, or listening to Scott regale me with how he “figured out multiple ways” to raid every asset we had to pull out the closing costs for this loan. (I will not, I repeat, will not, raid the 401k for closing costs on a loan that is a “nice to have” and not a “have to have.”)
That being said, I must share with my wonderful peeps yet another story about the idiot appraiser.
The lady at the bank told us we had one last recourse, to get in touch with the appraiser directly. So, much to my chagrin, Scott did just that. Here’s the response:
“Scott,
Hello. I’m not supposed to discuss details of the appraisal with anyone other than the bank. I can tell you that I took the items you listed into consideration when developing the final opinion of value in the report. The age of the home was listed as 2005 because that is the age of the home listed through the Scott Co. PVA. The sales I used are all arms length transactions, which basically means that they sold at market value regardless of who the owner was at the time. If you have detailed questions regarding value then you will have to contact the bank and I can relay messages through them to you if they are willing. Thanks Scott and hope your loan works out for you.
*name has been removed to protect the idiot appraiser, though I truthfully don’t know why*”
Again … let’s pull some of this out and examine it further.
"I’m not supposed to discuss details of the appraisal with anyone other than the bank."
This I find interesting because he told me he wasn’t allowed to talk to the bank directly. He’s lying to someone here, and I’m not too sure who at this point. I don’t really care either – I hate liars. (So much so that I originally spelled it “lyers” before I realized it was wrong. To induce that kind of spelling error means he’s really ticked me off.)
Furthermore, the lady at the bank told Scott to e-mail him directly. Sure, she could have been wrong, but given the fact I know he’s not allowed to talk to the bank (a fact also mentioned to me by the mortgage lady because she told me she wasn’t allowed to contact him directly either), I’m thinking he’s a crack-smoker. Even if he’s not, I prefer to think of him that way – it totally discredits him even more than his stupidity.
"The age of the home was listed as 2005 because that is the age of the home listed through the Scott Co. PVA."
So, this means Scott County PVA is wrong. You know, they aren’t the be-all, end-all authority on my house either. I think I freakin’ know when I signed the papers to have it built (February 2006) and when I closed on it (May 2006). Now, crack-smoker, I know you pulled up a copy of our deed because it was in the appraisal, so surely you might have noticed a discrepancy between what the PVA said and what the deed said. Oh, right, you don’t think, so you wouldn’t even put it together.
As an aside, I will be contacting the Scott County PVA to get my taxes lowered – the only positive that I can see to this low appraisal. I guess at that point, I will have them fix the age thing too, because obviously the PVA must be corrected if I have any hope of refinancing in the future.
"The sales I used are all arms length transactions, which basically means that they sold at market value regardless of who the owner was at the time."
To explain this, the comps that were used in the appraisal were skewed because some of them were spec houses the builders were desperately trying to offload, and only one was a normal sale. Given the fact that I know that the builder of a couple of those houses would have sold his own soul to the devil to offload those houses (in fact, he might have), I know they didn’t sell at market value.
Besides, how can you say they sold at market value when you are determining the market value based on those houses?
Don’t you think I’m a hell of a lot more familiar with the situation and market in my neighborhood than he is? I mean, sure, he can go digging through public records (and not very well, I might add), but being that I live there, I know the people who have bought and sold these houses, and I have watched the ebb and flow of new construction in the neighborhood, perhaps I know a little bit more.
"Thanks Scott and hope your loan works out for you."
Look, you freakin’ moron, would we be coming back to you fighting this hard if the appraisal came out in such a way the loan would work? Are you really that damn stupid?
Jackass.
Maybe I should become an appraiser and make $400 for every life I get the chance to ruin! Woohoo.
Then again, I don’t want people to talk about me the way I talk about this douchebag.
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