Irony at its best

First, a little background - Members Heritage Federal Credit Union is the credit union for Lexmark employees. Ergo, I have a Members Heritage account, having been at Lexmark for five years.

I also have a Chase checking account, because I wanted the rewards points, and I wanted an ATM card that would be accepted in more locations, so I'd pay less in ATM fees.

So, I'm having a bad day and decide I want chocolate. I don't have any cash. But I know there's an ATM in the lobby, so off I go with my Chase ATM card in hand. I pull out enough to cover my trip to the vending machine, and to pay the guy who mows our lawn. Proactive, that's me!

I punch in my info, and get the "We charge $3 to withdraw money" screen. But there's something funky here - it says "Members Heritage charges $3 to use this ATM." What??? The ATM in the lobby of the ACS building (a company based out of Dallas, Texas and is in no way affiliated with Lexmark - with the exception of now being a competitor because ACS is owned by Xerox) is operated by the Lexmark bank? Am I in an alternate universe?

I assess the freakin' fee, reeling from the irony (because I didn't have enough money to cover my withdrawal from my Members Heritage account without raiding the Savings and I didn't want to do that).

I head downstairs to the cafeteria/breakroom. I just want some chocolate, and maybe a Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi out of the machine, but figured I'd have to buy something at the cafeteria to break the crisp, Members-Heritage-excessive-withdrawal-fee tainted $20 in my wallet.

Oh, but when I get there, the cafeteria is closed all this week "to better serve our needs." I don't get how it being closed at this juncture in time is in any way serving my needs. Screw you cafeteria.

I head to the machines. There's a Change machine - score! Oh, but wait, it's just for breaking $1s and $5s. I mean, I could put my $20 in, but do I really want to be walking around with $18 worth of quarters in my purse? I mean, sheesh, my purse is heavy enough with all of Munchkin's stuff in it.

I head upstairs, cursing the whole world at this point, and I am still chocolate-less.

I talk to Scott and tell him I'm going to get my girl tonight, and then swing by the Little Caesar's and get a $5 pizza tonight. He goes, "I was going to cook." Through gritted teeth, I said, "I didn't get my chocolate today, don't you dare deny me my pizza."

He goes, "Well, you have chocolate in your desk." He is referring to the mildly-resembling-chocolate-flavored health foods I have in my desk (granola bars, Special K snack bars, etc). I informed him that it was not chocolate.Any woman will tell you that.