Chilean miner proposes from 2,300 feet underground
Disclaimer: I start a lot of these with disclaimers, don’t I? I’m not a hopeless romantic. In fact, romance is not really a strength of mine, period. (Just ask Scott who got a car battery for Valentine’s Day while we were dating.) So this could be some sappy-mushy-gushy thing to some people, but I just find it a great excuse to be cynical and sarcastic. Don’t be offended because you’re a hopeless romantic and you find it sweet as all get out. I just don’t roll that way.
On the surface, this seems like the sweetest thing ever. However, if you delve into it a little bit, it's actually a big, fat fail.
In the annals of unique marriage proposals, this one may take the wedding cake…
Honestly, that is the corniest lead of all time. The author should be shot. Cute turns of phrase are fine in stories like this (I’ve addressed this before – see here), but come on, if you’re going to use one, at least make it good.
Esteban Rojas asked for his sweetheart Jessica Ganiez’s hand in matrimony from a half mile underground.
Yeah, and? If you told me he squinched his body to fit in the six inch wide hole so he could ask her in person, I might be more impressed.
And even though she said yes, it might be Christmas Day before he gets a chance to kiss the bride.
Actually, I think it might be later than that. I mean, he might be out on Christmas Day and he can kiss her. But unless she’s waiting at the top of that hole in a wedding dress with a preacher, she’s not going to be “the bride” and therefore he’ll just be kissing his fiancé. Ahh, semantics.
“When I get out, let’s buy the dress and we’ll get married,” Rojas wrote Ganiez on scrap paper.
Because that’s all you need to get married – a dress.
Ganiez, 43, gave romantic Rojas an enthusiastic “yes.”
You know how this could be better? “Ganiez, 43, gave Rojas a ‘meh, I’ll believe it when I see it.’” Don’t believe me? Read on…
Rojas and Ganiez have been have been together for 25 years, raised three children and are now grandparents twice over. Yet although they were legally hitched in a civil ceremony years ago, Ganiez never got a big church wedding, as is customary in Chile.
I’m not belittling Chilean customs, really, I’m not, but they were married. Civil ceremony or not, they were married. Ergo, this story really has pretty much lost all the “coolness” it could have (if I wasn’t jaded and cynical). For the record, it’s pretty much custom here to have a big wedding, but not everyone does. Just because you don’t have the big wedding does not mean you’re still single.
EDIT - due to being called out in the comments, please ignore the following paragraph. I did, however, leave it in the story instead of just deleting it so, if you end up reading the comments, you're not looking at it like, "what the heck are they talking about?"
AND … why does she have a different last name, anyway? Not that it’s necessary to take a name, but if they are all about customs and stuff, why didn’t she do it? (Then again, maybe she was waiting to take his name for when she got the big wedding. So materialistic. Come on, all you need is love. Have The Beatles taught us nothing?)
END EDIT
“He always said getting married is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and he would ask me when the time was best. Obviously, what has happened made him do it.”
I don’t know about you, but I think this sort of falls on the list of shitty reasons to get married – only trumped by getting a girl pregnant.
Brief explanation of my anti-shotgun wedding stance: Not that it’s a bad thing for a guy to “want to do the right thing,” and you have to admire that. However, a lasting relationship cannot be built on a sense of guilt. It’s just the way I see things. And no child should have to grow up in an environment that was all a lie – it’s not fair to the kid, or the parents.
Back to the point at hand – he only proposed because his life flashed before his eyes and he felt guilty for not fulfilling his promise.
Either that or he anticipates a big payout from the mine company for the “pain and suffering” he and his 32 co-workers will receive and he figured he’d better use it for a wedding instead of a new car. It’s whatever.
Supplies ranging from bedding and clean underwear to diversions such as iPods and gaming consoles have been lowered down a duct to the trapped miners.
I am glad to know they are getting clean underwear and iPods. Nevermind clean water. How about spending money to pay more people to get them out faster as opposed to buying video games for them?
"We have talked about it before, but he never asked me. I think it’s a good idea.”
How did he never ask you if you were married in a civil ceremony? Something isn’t making sense to me.
And why wouldn’t you say it’s a good idea? People say the stupidest shit when they get around reporters. I swear.
Each miner only had 20 seconds to converse, and even with a wedding proposal in hand, Ganiez feared the “W” word might not actually come out of Rojas’ mouth.
Wonton? Wallaby? Winter? Wings? Willow? Whip It? (“When a problem comes along, you must whip it … whip it good.”)
“I was worried he might not mention it again,” Ganiez told CNN.
Is this a habit of his? If so, you’re an idiot for staying with him so long if he makes this a routine to mention things to get your hopes up but then never mentions them again.
“But he said we should get married in church. He’d asked me if I’ve already chosen the dress.” Ganiez managed to use her fleeting seconds to tell Rojas the answer was yes.
After 25 years of waiting for him to ask, I should hope she had a dress picked out and had a seamstress on speed-dial.
Now Ganiez is setting up a bridal registry — a new refrigerator and a food cooker are on her list.
A fridge. Wow. To think I asked for a GameCube (and got it) on my registry. But apparently all I needed to do to get a GameCube wasn’t get married, but rather get trapped in a mine. Go figure.
But she confided she misses her intended terribly, and will wait as long as it takes to hold him in her arms once again.
What else is she going to say? “Clock is ticking, he best be out by Christmas or the deal is off. I can’t wait forever.”
“He always said he planned to grow old with me, and I plan to grow old with him.”
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
Oh all I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
Come on, if you tell me you didn't think of that when you read that quote, you're lying. You know it.
“Our love is very deep.”
Of course your love is deep. It’s 2,300 feet deep right now. Doh.
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