Stephen Hawking says there is no God

Hawking spurns God: Universe just happened

In the '80s, you were really no one unless you read Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time."
I, apparently, was no one. I did read the book, at the insistence of my Earth Science teacher, in 1994.

Not that it was an easy read.
That is an understatement. However, me being the overachiever, wrote a paper disproving some of his theories based on my meaningless observations in life. (Because apparently a freshman in high school knows more than Stephen-f’ing-Hawking. God, I was a loser.)

The most efficient option for getting a handle on it, I found, was to ask someone what was in it.
As any high school student will tell you, that’s the solution for any book you’re supposed to read. Well, that and Cliff’s Notes.

As I understood it then, Hawking believed that there might somewhere, out there, be a God.
Well, you know, maybe, “Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight/Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight.” 




You know, one of those all-powerful beings that we can never hope to quite understand.
My mom? What? 

In a new book called "The Grand Design", however, co-written with Leonard Mlodinow, Hawking seems to explicitly reject the idea that God woke up one day and said "Abracadabra."
Jeez, he didn’t say “Abracadabra,” he said “Let there be light.” Seriously people.

This also begs the question – does God sleep? If not, then he didn’t just wake up one day and think this was a good idea, did he? (Since he created the light and the dark and called it night and day, he couldn’t just wake up one day and decide this. Oh, it’s a vicious cycle.)

"Because there is a law such as gravity, the Universe can and will create itself from nothing. Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the Universe exists, why we exist."
Isn’t that like, the Big Bang Theory – and not the show (though, let’s congratulate Jim Parsons for his Emmy win).

This reads as if our world, the NFL, love, and even social networking are all mere accidental happenstance.
Facebook is total accidental happenstance – and lies and lawsuits, haven’t you seen the movie? (To be fair, I haven’t. But I’ve read a lot about it.)

Once upon a time, there was this thing called gravity.
Ummm, still is a thing called gravity. And a crazy little thing called love.

And gosh, it had grave consequences, even though it had no idea of its own power.
Gravity is not exactly a tangible object, and therefore it has no thought process and it is impossible for it to have an idea of its own power.

"It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper and set the Universe going."
Look, honestly, if you looked like Stephen Hawking, wouldn’t you subscribe to a theory that suggests you just sort of “magically” appeared and therefore were “magically” put together wrong – as opposed to an all-knowing, supposed-all-loving being creating you imperfect?

Now, please do not read that as I am against people with disabilities, I’m not. Really. However, I have heard a lot of them question why a loving God could create them with these problems as opposed to creating them “normal.” I’m just echoing sentiment I’ve heard before.

But it all seems so terribly unexciting if we all just materialized out of nowhere, and to nowhere will return. Can't we at least leave the door open for a little more meaningful fantasy?
I agree. Great way to end the story. Way to go random CNET blog-writer dude.