Renault today dodged a bullet for car companies trying to christen new models: being sued because it's someone's name. A French judge said it could keep the name Zoe for its cute little electric car with spa-like aroma therapy ventilation due out mid 2012.
Good. That’s just a freakin’ ridiculous lawsuit. For once, a ridiculous lawsuit comes out of a country other than the US. (Though, I have to admit, it doesn’t help my “France really doesn’t suck” argument against all the French-haters.)
Oh, and I'm am resisting the urge to go off about the "spa-like aroma therapy ventilation" featured in this car. That's not the point of this post, but there is so much wrong with it, I don't even know where to start.
Lawyer David Koubbi sued on behalf of two girls named Zoe Renault (ages 2 and 8), contending their name on the car would set them up for a lifetime of grief, from playground taunts to sexual innuendo. He said his Zoe Renaults (no relation to company founder Louis Renault) would be most hurt, but all of France's estimated 35,000 Zoes would feel the sting.
On behalf of two girls named Zoe Renault, ages 2 and 8. Did they actually get his services for themselves? Nope. Their parents thought this would be a slam-dunk case. Boy were they wrong.
"Can you imagine what little Zoes would have to endure on the playground, and even worse, when they get a little bit older and someone comes up to them in a bar and says, 'Can I see your air bags?' or 'Can I shine your bumper?'" Koubbi told The Associated Press in an interview.
First of all, let me just say … “hahahahahahahahahahahaha.”
Let’s think this through – their last name is Renault. They could totally get the “air bags” or “shine your bumper” line based on their last name alone. There’s no way to prove that naming the car Zoe is going to make that any worse later in life.
Seems a reach to us -- and a French judge agreed, ruling the parents would have a case only if they proved the car name would cause the girls "certain, direct and current harm."
For the record, I know someone who named their son “Ford.” It was her maiden name, so that’s why she chose it. But it’s not going to stop the “have you driven a Ford lately” jokes, regardless. That being said, at this point in time, the kid is in his 20s, and you haven’t heard of a news story about some kid being horribly damaged because his name was Ford, do you?
What about girls named Opal? Or Porsche? I just don’t think this is really that big a deal. When you start naming things, you run the risk of duplicate names – I mean, it’s just the way it happens. Do you see kids name Houston or Austin throwing a fit because there are cities with the same name? Or women named Virginia or Georgia? I even knew someone named (no lie) October Sunshine. (Her parents were hippies, she followed suit.) I just think there are so many other names out there to set a kid up for a life of ridicule, Zoe Renault is not one of them.
Companies naming a car already tiptoe through a minefield to avoid rights issues, vulgar or negative meanings in other languages, names unpronounceable in some countries, etc.
“Nova” meaning no-go in Spanish, thereby hurting Chevy’s sales of the model in Latin America and Spain, anyone?
Koubbi said he'll appeal, but Renault is sure to keep fighting. Two of its current models -- Megane and Clio -- already carry popular girls' names in France.
Then what the hell is the big deal? Seriously, I cannot believe someone thought this was a viable case to even attempt to carry through the court system. Not only is it ludicrous to start with, but the fact that other models have feminine monikers without problem, obviously this lawyer needs to find something better to do. Maybe he should move to Lexington, KY and join the ambulance-chasing services of The Kentucky Hammer, at least then he’d have something to do, as opposed to fruitless lawsuits against Renault. (Who, by the way, let’s face it, probably has a handful of way better lawyers than this dude will ever be on staff, and waiting to defend stupid crap like this.)
Renault CEO Carlos Ghosn said in June he was aware of the Zoe issue and wanted to avoid any controversy that could hurt sales. But a Renault official told the AP there are no plans to change the name: "We ordered several studies that showed that it's not a handicap for the car, so there's no reason to make any changes. We're very happy with the judge's decision."
Okay, whereas I support the decision to let the name stand, I gotta jump all over the Renault CEO here. He said the studies “showed that it’s not a handicap for the car.” But this suit claims it is, in fact, a handicap to the people who share the name with the car. Idiot. You completely missed the point of the lawsuit, didn’t you?
Le sigh.
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