Reference this blog, where I discussed home birth. I’m not against it – it’s just not for me.
However, I have a real problem with someone who will take medical research and throw it out the window for her own personal “birthing experience” that she felt she had been robbed of in her previous three births. Seriously??? Really??? To me, and maybe it’s just me, but childbearing/birth is one of the most selfless acts you can perform – to be home to a (as House would put it) “parasite” for nine months, then endure intense pain, weight gain, swollen ankles, sciatica, waddling, horrid maternity clothes, etc. just so someone else can enter this world – it’s selfless. It’s giving of yourself in a way no one else can. (So, yeah, go give your mom a hug right now. You didn’t think of that, did you?) I think it’s horrible that she can turn this into a selfish act with that statement. If I were that kid, and I read this story later I my life, I’d be offended. “What the heck do you mean you wanted a special birthing experience – wasn’t getting the chance to meet/bond with/hold me for the first time enough for you?”
Now, if you read the comments (which, I admit, I had to stop after awhile for fear of my head exploding), there is a valid point to the fact there are doctors who push c-sections for their own selfish agendas (i.e. they don’t want to wait around 20 hours to deliver a baby). I can’t fault her for being wary of that. But you can’t lump all doctors in that group, not every OB is such a selfish ass. (In fact, mine was the most awesome guy ever. He told Scott that if Jocelyn was born after 5 p.m. that she’d be delivered by a monkey.) But have you ever thought that there are doctors who recommend c-sections for a legit reason? Perhaps you don’t know everything about the childbirthing process and maybe you really did need it.
I admit, I didn’t want a c-section. I really didn’t. But it wasn’t because I felt I was going to be robbed of some amazing experience (the happy drugs I was on took care of that, thanks – but it’s okay, it’s not one I want to experience again, so it’s all good) – it was because I knew recovery would take longer, and there’s no way the animals would understand they couldn’t jump all over me because of it.
Now, come 5 p.m., the anesthesiologist told me there was a “real” chance I might have to go c-section because I wasn’t progressing. Did I like it? No. Did I vow to walk out of the hospital right then to have the baby in my kitchen at home if it was going to come to that? No. I just wanted to have that baby – and to make sure she was healthy and I was healthy enough to enjoy holding her.
A few high points from the article…
"She told me, 'You're being irresponsible. Your baby could die. You could die,'" Aneka recalls. Then the doctor hung up.
Let’s hear it for bedside manner. The fact is, her doctor sucked. You can’t really judge all doctors because this one sucked.
That being said, let me say, I have been yelled at a lot in the last couple weeks for “not being professional.” Well, I think that doctor needed Natalie to yell at her about professionalism.
Aneka (she doesn't want her last name used) had already resolved to not have a C-section…
Really, this woman has a unique first name, we know the area in which she lives AND she allowed her pictures to be used in the article and she doesn’t want her last name used? Seriously. Does she really think that by shrouding her last name in secret she will magically stay in hiding and the anti-VBAC people will not knock on her door and accuse her of doing horrible things to her body?
In a postpartum visit six weeks later, the doctor told her she'd needed the surgery because her hips were too small to pass the baby.
"I thought to myself, what's she talking about, I don't have small hips," Aneka remembers.
Okay, if this was the same doctor who hung up on you for not showing up to deliver baby number four, this should have been your first clue to FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR. What an idiot.
And, you know, what do I know – I mean, yeah, I have Perrine hips (God love my mom’s side of the family), I knew I had child-bearing hips. But if my doctor told me my hips were too small – first of all, I’d say, “What you talking ‘bout, Willis?” and after she explained herself, I’d shut up. (Because, who knows, maybe they were genetically deformed and too big causing a narrow gap inside. What the heck do I know? I didn’t go to medical school.)
But about seven months into her pregnancy, Aneka started to read more about childbirth online, and noticed a documentary by actress Ricki Lake called "The Business of Being Born," a film released in 2008 that questions the way American women have babies.
That’s right – because doctors know nothing, Ricki Lake knows it all. Let’s turn this world upside down and put ourselves at risk because Ricki Lake said so.
Let’s back up, why did she wait until SEVEN months into her pregnancy? If she wanted to doctor shop, she should have known she couldn’t do it at this point. Jeez, this woman is retarded.
"I was a little bit angry after watching documentary," she said. "It made me realize I'd been robbed of the birthing experience. If possible, all women should be allowed to birth naturally."
Robbed of the birthing experience. Okay, look Aneka (last name withheld), I experienced the birthing experience. You ain’t missing much. Believe me. I could have done without the crying, the contractions, the evil nurse who wouldn’t let me have my Coke … and in the end, as long as your baby is fine, and you are fine, what the hell do you care if the stork dropped it from 20 feet in the air into your arms?
BTW, anyone notice the typo in the quote above? :)
"People were e-mailing Aneka saying 'congratulations, you're a role model," Humphrey says.
No, I don’t think she is. I think she’s just like Ricki Lake, and throwing information out there that will cause women to go into something uninformed. “But Aneka did it, why can’t I?”
"Anecdote is no way for folks to make plans," he says. "Just because something turned out well for one patient doesn't mean there are no risks and it will turn out well for you."
Testament to what I just said. Yeah, well, just because it worked for her and her small hips, doesn’t mean it will work for you. Every situation is different.
But Aneka says if she has another child, she'll give birth at home.
If she has another child??? She’s already got four. What’s she trying to do, give the Duggars a run for their money?
"Once you have that experience there's no other way to go, being in the comfort of your home without any unnecessary interventions and feeling like you're in charge," she says.
I’ll give her the experience, I’m sure for some people it is the preferred route – and I have a friend who is a midwife for home deliveries and she’s always quite busy. So there’s something to it. Just not my deal – I want to be in an environment surrounded by medical professionals. If I have surgery, I want to be in a sterile room, not my living room, you know?
But as for that whole “feeling like you’re in charge,” thing – welcome to dealing with children. You’re not in charge. When that baby is ready to come, it’s going to come wherever you are. That baby is in charge. If that baby wants to come out breech, then it’s gonna try, cause it’s in charge. If that baby gets stuck on your small hips, that baby’s still in charge – and probably pissed off cause it just wants out!
And really, if I had spoken up during my labor, I’m sure things could have been different. But I was so lost in what was going on, the epidural wearing off, and what I was supposed to do (which, according to nurse Joy wasn’t to talk), any instructions I gave would have been nonsensical anyway. I wasn’t thinking, I was just trying to get that damn child outta me. Seriously – wouldn’t you?
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