By Request: You can't just go changing history because you don't like it

“Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it." - Mark Twain

Huck Finn Gets Some Changes

Acclaimed by critics, scholars, and -- of course -- readers, Mark Twain's "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" is one of the great American novels. The book has been reprinted countless times, adapted into movies, and translated into just about every language under the sun. But should it be updated for today's times?

How many different ways can you say: “No. Not even no but hell no.” (If the translations are wrong, blame Google translator, not me, okay?)

(French) Non. Non seulement pas, mais l'enfer ne

(German) Nein. Nicht nur, nein, aber keine Hölle

(Dutch) Nee. Niet alleen niet, maar hell no

(Portuguese) Não. Não é só o inferno não, mas não

(Russian) Нет, не только нет, но черт возьми, нет

(Greek) Όχι Οχι μόνο δεν κόλαση, αλλά δεν

(Italian) No. Non solo non l'inferno, ma non

(Spanish) No. No sólo no, pero el infierno no

(Swahili) Namba Si tu hakuna lakini kuzimu hakuna

(Arabic) رقم ليس فقط لا ولكن لا الجحيم

Keep in mind, that’s saying something considering the level to which I despised the book, Huckleberry Finn. (Almost as much as Jane Eyre.)

News that the manuscript would undergo some changes sent shockwaves through the Search box. According to Publishers Weekly, NewSouth Books plans to release a version of "Huck Finn" that cuts the "n" word and replaces it with "slave." The slur "injun," referring to Native Americans, will also be replaced.

Are you freakin’ kidding me????

Mark Twain is spinning in his grave. You know what, no, he probably is so pissed off over this, he’s coming back as Zombie Mark Twain and he’s going to eat the brains of the “geniuses” at NewSouth Books who thought this was a good idea.

If you couldn’t tell, I think this is a bad idea.

*Warning, I’m going to climb on my soapbox, but it’s my blog and I can.*

I’ve been in this fight before – you cannot just go changing the words of someone else just because you don’t like them, or you don’t like how they said something. You just don’t do it.

I understand the rationale here is because there are words like “nigger” (a term of which I do not use) or “injun” (another term which I do not use). Now, I read Huckleberry Finn. Okay, no, I lie. I faked my way through the class discussions and bombed the test because I didn’t read Huckleberry Finn. (I was in Paris over spring break, would you read a ratty copy of Huckleberry Finn or enjoy being in Europe?)

However, my momma raised me right, and I know those are racial slurs, and they are wrong. You do not use them. You certainly don’t use them in the 21^st century.

We cannot whitewash (no pun intended, but hilarious!) history and pretend something didn’t happen. Our society did, in fact, force people into slavery … people did use racial slurs … the Jewish were captured and put in concentration camps … Asian immigrants were, in fact, forced to work on the railroad in the western United States and they were kept in camps too. A whole slew of other horrible things happened – in this country, and in others. It’s called history. And if we don’t learn from it, we are doomed to repeat it.

We must raise our children to know what was done in the past, and that it was a mistake (and why), and help them learn from it so we, as a society as a whole, can evolve. We will never improve if we are never given the chance. Erasing the mistakes of the past is never going to help us evolve.

Furthermore, it is NOT the responsibility of the schools to teach our children right from wrong. Our schools teach math. Science. History. Physical education. Lunch. Study hall. Socializing. Gossiping. Woodshop. Home Ec. French. German. Latin. Japanese. Government. Literature. Reading. Writing. Arithmetic.

Right and wrong comes from the home. You use the rationalization you learn to comprehend why what you learned about in history class was wrong. Why the system of checks and balances in the government exists. Etc.

It is not the schools’ responsibility to teach your child what you were unwilling (or, to be fair, unable) to teach your child. If you are unable to teach your child this, then put them in a situation, put them with people who can. Because if children don’t learn this, then publishers will continue whitewashing the history to the point where our children will come home fully convinced nothing bad ever happened, there are no wars, bad words, and we live in a sterile world. What a rude awakening will come when they enter the real world. How will they function? Whose fault will that be?

Surely not Mark Twain’s.