He's no friend of Bill W.
Who the hell is that? A quick Google did give me the answer (I love the internet), and he is apparently the founder of AA.
Elitist reporter note: Here’s a shock, not everyone has experienced AA (or been intimately close with someone who has) so they may not be familiar with Bill W. Story lead fail.
In his latest radio rant, Charlie Sheen blasted 12-step programs, calling them "bootleg cults" with a success rate of 5 percent, noting that his sobriety success rate was 100 percent.
Why is Charlie Sheen ranting on the radio? Shouldn’t he be in rehab – like, a real rehab facility – somewhere?
Okay, 5 percent? You know, 98 percent of all statistics are made up. Actually, my dear friend, the internet (I think I should marry it someday), did corroborate Sheen’s numerical “fact.” I use the word fact in quotes because I also saw 10 percent success rates reported, 25 percent success rate, 30 percent success rate, and even 95 percent success rate of 12-step programs. Sheen just picked a random number he’s seen quoted somewhere. It’s about as accurate as if he pulled it out of his ass (or his hooker’s ass).
AND ... since when is your sobriety 100 percent? How often have you been in and out of rehab, jerk-off?
"News-flash," the actor told The Alex Jones Show. "I am special and I will never be one of you."
News-flash, you are not special and you are a pudwhack. I sincerely hope to God you will never be one of us. I don’t want to share more in common with you than the fact we both breathe.
That’s the opposite of most alcoholics, most of them are quick to blame their problem on the fact they have a disease so it can’t possibly be their fault. Could Charlie Sheen actually have a mature thought?
"I have a disease?" he said. "Bulls**t! I cured it ... with my mind."
Okay, I take it back, that was hardly a mature thought. Silly me for assuming he could have a mature thought.
And I call bullshit, you can’t cure anything with your mind if you don’t have a mind.
Calling Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre a "turd," Sheen claimed to have embarrassed him "in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process."
Nothing like biting the hand that feeds you, Charlie. Lorre is, you know, like, your boss. If I called my boss a “turd” he wouldn’t be my boss much longer.
Guess what, I find it hard to believe you’re rehabilitated after two weeks of in-home rehab so apparently my mind is un-evolved as well.
Claiming someone else’s mind is “un-evolved” sounds a bit all psycho-Scientologist, doesn’t it? Hmmm, did Tom Cruise and John Travolta share some of their crazy Kool-Aid?
Lorre was far from Sheen's only target. Seemingly referring to various ex-lovers who've sold their stories to the press, he said:
"These turds, these losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. Bring me a frickin’ challenge. It just ain’t there."
Wow, someone’s being vicious. Didn’t his momma teach him that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? You keep that attitude up, Charlie, not a hooker in LA or New York would even want to have that night with you. BTW, what’s up with “turd?” Is that the only insult your miniscule mind can eek out? Come on, crack open a thesaurus – it’s not really a challenge.
Ex-wife Brooke Mueller was not beyond Sheen's ridicule either. Apparently Mueller flew to the Bahamas with Sheen and two women Wednesday, but has since decided not to continue on with the the group.
This woman really needs to cut ties with this man, save for the child support checks. Why on Earth did she decide to embark upon a vacation with this man and two other women? What kind of idiot is she? And where the hell were the twins? That’s some great parenting there. Those poor boys haven’t got a shot in hell.
"Goodbye Brooke. Good luck in your travels, you're going to need it, badly," the actor quipped.
Hey, Charlie, Brooke’s going to be laughing over your grave, so I’d bite your tongue if I were you. I think you need more luck than she does.
Even President Thomas Jefferson fell victim Sheen's ire. When Jones told Sheen he sounded Jeffersonian, Sheen replied. "I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p***y!"
Okay, so Thomas Jefferson was a pussy – but he also penned the Declaration of Independence, was President, is responsible for the Louisiana Purchase, Lewis and Clark, and he founded the University of Virginia (among other things like banging his slaves). Besides banging people you weren’t married to, what the hell do the two of you have in common? Here’s the thing, Charlie, people hundreds of years will still be learning about, and writing reports about, Thomas Jefferson. You’ll just be some dead actor no one gives a damn about because the mark of your tenure in this world was made with hookers, drugs and calling people “turds.” Who’s the pussy now?
No comments:
Post a Comment