Things I learned since having a toddler

My munchkin, life's greatest teacher

I posted this a while back as a Facebook note, but I thought I'd resurrect it and add to it... sending a lot of love out to my buds who just became moms in the last week.

Almost three years ago, I would have told you I'm so not the mom type. I don't know how to be nurturing and caring to anything with fewer than four legs. But, alas, since Jocelyn joined us, I have turned into that walking cliche - all the way down to using baby wipes to clean just about everything (mainly because they are there), and always having some sort of snack hidden in my purse. Ha! Me, whodathunk it?

Here are a few other things I've learned....

1. Pictures are important. Sometimes a little too important. :) But we can't have a major holiday or event without the camera involved.

2. There are some things that I used to think grossed me out, but, well, not anymore. C'est la vie.

3. Random noises that escape my daughter's lips actually make words to us, but no one else.

4. A room (or the backseat of the car) is not completely decorated until there is at least one toy in all locations.

5. As your child gets older, the need to carry more stuff increases tenfold. Less diapers, yes, but way more to keep that razor-thin attention span occupied.

6. My ensemble is never complete without a snot mark, oatmeal-covered handprint, or some other discoloration that won't go away unless it goes through the wash.

7. Joy comes in fifteen-minute cartoons. Add a cookie to the mix and you have pure elation.

8. Christmas used to be all about "what kind of cool stuff will I get?" and now it's about "what kind of cool stuff can I get her?"

9. Phrases like: "Get off the table," "Why are you driving your cars down the cat's back?" and "No, no, don't pick up the cat," or (my favorite) "Honey, please don't color the cat," become a regular part of your vernacular.

10. Thoughts like "I wonder if she gets tired of me asking her what the cow says as quickly as I tire of asking it" run through your head.

11. Bright green poop freaks you out to the point you run to the internet to see what sort of disease your child might have ... when you finally remember that she had green-colored Jello two nights before.

12. Sometimes a balanced meal is a piece of string cheese.

13. You watch way more PG- and G-rated movies than anything else. Extra points if you have a five-disc DVD changer that has a kiddie movie in each slot. (Yes, I do!)

14. You have watched every episode of any cartoon on Playhouse Disney.

14b. You get extra points if you know Playhouse Disney is now called DisneyJunior.

15. You DVR more cartoons for your kid than you do shows for yourself.


16. Chalk is good. Crayons are better. Markers are THE BEST. And nothing will get them off after an afternoon of wall-decorating.

17. A child will not tire of watching the same movie or listening to the same song until you turn homicidal.

Feel free to add more...