Archives: To my brother

~~ Originally posted as a Facebook Note on May 24, 2009 ~~

Me and Michael goofing around
at my wedding

It's been years since the day you left,
when your world got to be too much to bear.
My world, my life just isn't the same,
There are days I look up wishing, hoping, you are still there.

I still have so many questions, so many doubts
And I've stopped counting the sleepless nights
I lie there thinking, wondering what I could have done
To make your life better, to make things right.

I replay that night over and over in my head
It's a nightmare that I lived, that just won't end.
They tell me in time I'll forget, but the details are still vivid.
Maybe I'm doomed never to forget them.

A lot has changed since the night you said good-bye.
We welcomed a baby girl who is everything to me.
I will tell her stories and make sure she knows how great you were
But it's doesn't compare, I wish she could have the real thing.

It's selfish of me, I know,
But I so want to make you laugh one more time;
For Oscar to give you puppy kisses to make it better;
And for you to hear Jocelyn giggle;
To reminisce about our childhood;
To make you one more lasagna;
To watch one more movie together or make fun of Rachael Ray;
To rock out to Guitar Hero one last time...
But I guess it will all have to wait.

There are so many memories, and stories to tell
You're etched into my soul, you were truly heaven-sent.
I was blessed to have had the time with you that I did
Even if, in the grand scheme of time, it was but a moment.

I know you think you were alone in this life,
But we all loved you more than you'll ever know.
The words may not have escaped my lips,
You were my big brother, my Marine, my hero.