A California teenager kidnapped his 5-month-old baby and fatally stabbed the child as pursuing deputies watched before police shot and killed the teen, authorities said.
Really? Really? I just, wow, am baffled. What goes through your head to do that? “I hate that freakin’ kid, damn diapers are expensive, so I’m going to steal him and stab him. I win! Then I can spend money on PS3 games instead. Woot!”
CNN affiliates KABC-TV and KTLA-TV in Los Angeles identified the teenager as Christopher Earl Glass and his son as Christopher Earl Glass Jr.
Well, yeah, I’d be mentally unstable if my middle name was “Earl” too. Why are the lyrics of “Goodbye Earl” running through my head?
Elitist reporter note: I thought we weren’t supposed to release the names of minors. It’s actually random but I wish they’d just stick with one rule or the other, dammit.
Deputies from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department responded about 11 a.m. Tuesday to a reported child abduction in Palmdale, about 60 miles north of Los Angeles, the department said. "They were told that a 17-year-old suspect had kidnapped his 5-month-old baby son from a person who was taking care of the baby and drove away," police said in a statement.
Elitist reporter note: You think they attributed the police enough in this paragraph. Cause I’m not sure. Maybe they should say the police said something just to eliminate any potential confusion.
Grammar Nazi note: Too many uses of the word “had.” Head might explode…
After an investigation was launched, police learned the teen had called the baby's mother and threatened to harm the child, the statement said. An Amber Alert was issued for the baby.
*BOOM* That’s the sound of my head exploding because of the excessive “had” in that sentence!
They really needed to conduct an “investigation” to learn that?
At about 3:35 p.m., deputies saw the suspect driving and began following him, the department said.
Wait a second, the cops knew this guy kidnapped the kid (because of their intensive investigation), and they followed him? Why didn’t they organize a road block or something to stop him from getting away? No, they just follow him. Sounds to me like the cops in California weren’t really interested in doing much around 3:35 p.m. today.
Grammar Nazi note: AGHHHHHHHHHH, I went off on this one yesterday. Why can’t they just say, “Around 3:35 p.m. …”
While in pursuit, "they observed some kind of stabbing motion inside the vehicle," sheriff's spokeswoman Nicole Nishida told reporters. The deputies pursued the vehicle, attempting to get it to stop.
Some kind of stabbing motion? It’s either a stabbing motion or not.
There they go again, just pursuing it. Honestly, I’m thinking cops in California can’t handle pursuits, I mean, come on, O.J. anyone????
Elitist reporter note: AP style dictates that titles go AFTER names, not before. Seriously, people?
Grammar Nazi note: Passive tense, really? Couldn’t you just say, “The deputies attempted to stop the vehicle.”
After about two or three minutes??? What? Why can’t they leave the “about” out? It’s extraneous.
What kind of car is that? An Aztek? I’d crash it into a building too. So, this idiot got out and ran? Let’s give it up to the safety of that awful-looking vehicle!
They raced the baby to the hospital in their radio car. What is a radio car?
Of course the baby was pronounced dead at the hospital, his father performed some sort of stabbing motion. I’m surprised the baby was not pronounced some sort of dead.
Meanwhile, the suspect broke into a home at random as authorities fired at him in an attempt to get him to stop, police said. "The suspect was able to break into the home, with deputies chasing after him. A second deputy-involved shooting occurred inside the home." The teen was killed, police said. No deputies were injured.
Why is he “the suspect” now? He was “the teenager” or “the father” throughout the rest of the story.
Elitist reporter note: The first sentence states he broke into a home. The second sentence contains a quote talking about how he was “able to break into the home.” Uhm, editing fail. We already established he performed the deed, this was ill-placed.
Grammar Nazi note: Missing comma alert! ‘Second’ and ‘deputy-involved’ are both adjectives and should be separated by a comma. Sigh. In fact, if you want to get technical, ‘deputy-involved’ does not really need to be in this sentence so it could be completely offset by a pair of commas, meaning the sentence could flow with or without it. However, even I admit that looks weird.
Relatives told KABC that Glass, who lived with his mother, was a good father to the baby and they don't know why the incident occurred. Cousin Bobby Hudson described him as "a great person," adding, "I hate to see this happen."
Really, he was a good father to the baby? Are you sure he wasn’t a good father to a rock or something? I mean, what else are you going to be a father to?
Stupid quote alert!! You hate to see this happen? Could the reporter honestly have gotten a more stupid quote? Like someone’s actually going to talk to the media and say, “What an idiot, I’m glad this happened. The punk owed me five bucks.”
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