ENVIRONMENTALISTS TO BUILD KORAN FUELED POWER PLANT IN SAN FRANCISCO

(AP) It was just announced by the San Francisco based Green Defense Fund that the nation's first KORAN fueled power plant will be built in the Bay Area. In the news conference that announced the construction of what is sure to be a controversial environmental measure, the president of the Green Defense Fund and gay activist Edward "Oral" Smythe, related that the massive burning of KORANS to provide power to the mostly gay community in the San Francisco is an idea whose time has come.

"After all," said Smythe to the assembled news reporters and journalists from every major news network except Fox News, "The KORAN mandates that gays be killed by Muslims! Clearly, it is in the interest of the San Francisco homosexual community that all copies of this horrible book be burned, and since solar energy and windmills have proven to be a flop in providing the gay and environmentalist community with a dependable energy to light and heat the city's many score bathhouses and leather bars, this measure is a win-win deal for everyone in the Bay Area that includes Berkeley."

Smythe went on to say that estimates are that over six billion copies of the KORAN exist on the planet. This would mean a daily burn rate of only several thousand KORANS (since the average KORAN is over 2,000 thick pages with illustrations) at the proposed power plant near the Castro District in San Francisco would provide the electric needs of that section of San Francisco for the next 57 years at little cost to the consumers.

When asked if a ready supply of KORANS existed in the USA, Smythe responded, "Our organization has been informed that 500 million copies exist in warehouses at Ft. Apache, California that were captured by the U.S. Army during the First Gulf War in 1991. The military had planned to use test the new model flamethrowers on this massive pile of anti-homosexual and very politically incorrect books, but have agreed to make them available to our newly formed San Francisco Energy Company. This fuel source alone will provide ten years of clean energy for the Bay Area."

The White House is said to be in complete agreement with the "Final Solution" of the San Francisco energy crisis.

Said President Obama at a news conference today:

"Since the Muslims have started burning me all over the world in effigy, they not only destroy in metaphor their greatest friend in the Free World, they also burn the gay and environmentalist communities as well! As a bisexual environmentalist, I say that the Muslims have went a bridge too far in their protests and must be on the receiving end of a massive counter protest.

Therefore, I endorse 100% this creative FINAL SOLUTION to end the energy crisis in San Francisco homosexual bathhouse district and begin a large scale counter protest against Muslims burning me in effigy. If the Muslims can burn the President of the United States in metaphor, my supporters can burn each and every one of them in effigy by way of burning one KORAN for each Muslim on the planet."