I'm so glad I'm not a twin

God knows this world can't handle one of me, can you imagine of there were two of me running around? Though, if that were the case, my plans of world domination might come to fruition much easier. But I digress.

Yeah, that's not the least bit creepy, is it?

I'm actually quite happy I'm not half of a set of identical twins. I thrive on my individuality - being identical to someone else would just be horrible. (And crack every mirror we ever encountered, I'm sure.) Now, I know plenty of identical twins and they are awesome, I love them to death and there's nothing wrong with them.

Seriously though, can you imagine if you had to wear the same thing as your sibling because your mom was too lazy? You think I'm kidding. I know someone who has three-year-old identical twin boys and I asked her once if she ALWAYS dressed them the same and she said yes, because it was so much easier. (Their room is also decorated in Thing 1 and Thing 2 - that's not the least bit cliche, is it?) Really? It's easier to strip your kids of their identity and individualism? I understand it's easier to buy two of everything, but you don't have to make them wear the same thing on the same days. Pretend they don't have identical wardrobes. Or, if you're going to put them in the same thing, at the very least, have them in different colors. I mean, it's not that hard. What is more important - taking an extra 30 seconds getting dressed in the morning, or royally screwing with your kids later in life because you denied them the opportunity to express themselves?

Oh, and how about toys? What is it with giving twins one of the same toy? Why not give them something different. They're twins, they'll end up playing with, and probably destroying, each other's toys, at least give them double the toys. I mean, do you really need two of the same doll? Two of the same kitchen set? Come on, vary it up a little bit. Just because you share your DNA with someone does not mean you have to, or even want to, play with the same toys. Get a clue people.

You have to love this one - identical twins getting married in a joint ceremony. Okay, I might be able to see that, for the parents' sake, let's throw a joint party and save some money. After all, you only have to pay for one open bar instead of two. But the same dress? The same bouquet? Really? That's just sick. I certainly hope the guys actually married the right twin. Wouldn't that be a clusterfuck of epic proportions?

There are some advantages of twins - it's the ultimate way to have your two kids for the perfect American family - without having to be pregnant twice. You'll always have someone around. But I think the awful preconceptions society applies is just stupid. For some reason people seem to think that if you're born at the same time, you deserve the same stuff - and that's ridiculous. They deserve their identities as much as us singleton kids. Besides, if you strip them of their identities and force them to play the same person for years on end, you know what you get, right? The Olsen Twins. Scary thought, huh?