More worthless information

It's been a little while since a dose of worthless information. Though, I will be honest, I actually looked these facts up instead of pulling them out of my little head.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
So, by that rationale, I should be  burning 1200 calories a day. Who said working in front of a computer meant a completely sedentary life?

Right now, this very second, 70% of the people driving on U.S. highways are speeding.
The other 30 percent are related to my stepdad and are out there for the sole purpose of pissing off the other 70.

A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
Someone call a lawyer, I’m suing both Jiffy Pop and Jiffy Lube for unfair advertising. That popcorn does not pop up that fast, and there’s no way the idiots at Jiffy Lube could even identify what you drive as a car in 1/100th of a second, let alone actually change your oil.

President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.
What a shame he wasn’t the fastest person at dodging bullets.

Oh, that was bad, wasn’t it?

According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction.
Sounds like someone’s going to have a permanent case of the Mondays. (As an aside, if what the coroner told us is true, my brother committed suicide on a Monday. So, there’s something to that.)

The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours.
Yeah, well, my car is cooler than his.

On the new hundred dollar bill the time on the clock tower of Independence Hall is 4:10.
Someone call Jerry Bruckheimer, he’s got to make a new “National Treasure” movie. I’m sure that means something, and I’m sure he’s got to tell us, through the joys of listening to Nicolas Cage sound intelligent for two hours.

Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.
There are no words.

 
Mario, of Super Mario Bros. fame, appeared in the 1981 arcade game, Donkey Kong. His original name was Jumpman, but was changed to Mario to honor the Nintendo of America's landlord, Mario Segali.
Jumpman. Wow. How cool is that? I’m sorry Princess, but you best get used to Bowser, you have no hope of being saved if your fate lies in the hands of a plumber named Jumpman.

Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
WRONG. White men can’t jump either.

The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
Man, and I thought it was to have the best ad campaign ever – Make 7-Up Yours.

The largest number of children born to one woman is recorded at 69. From 1725-1765, a Russian peasant woman gave birth to 16 sets of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets.
Shhhhh, don’t say that too loud or the Duggars are going to have to try to beat her.

The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
Forget the nukes, all we need are mules.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
I knew that, believe it or not. Why? Jocelyn’s cartoons.