First of all … before we get into this crazy story, let’s take a moment to digest that headline, shall we?
Headline writing is an art form. Some people can do it, some can’t. My former-editor, Kevin, was a master (still is, even though his headline writing is reduced to blog posts and press releases these days).
I full-well know why headlines contain commas like this one, because of lack of space (though, this is online, they have all the space in the world). But, honestly, it took me reading the story to understand they did not, in fact, steal a baby just to leave it in a cart. That is, however, how it reads.
*climbing on editing/journalist soapbox now*
The importance of news stories … in order 1) headline; 2) lead; 3) last paragraph; 4) the text in between the lead and the last paragraph.
Why? Numerous studies prove most people only read the headlines. A smaller percentage will read the headline and lead. An even smaller percentage will read the headline, lead and the last paragraph. The smallest percentage will read the whole thing.
The reason why we need compelling, and well-written, headlines and leads is because we want to hook the people to read the whole story. After all, the reporter took the time to research it, write it (God, I hope, but Jayson Blair and his ilk are a whole separate pet peeve in and of themselves) and make it captivating so people will read it. Otherwise the paper can’t justify the measly $8/hour it pays the reporter.
*climbing off my soapbox now*
LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- A man and woman are charged with endangering the welfare of a child after police said the two shoplifted at a Walmart store then left their 9-month-old child in a shopping cart.
I am glad to see that the most important charge here was about the kid and not about what they stole from the store.
AP Nazi note: Correct me is if I’m wrong, but isn’t Wal-Mart supposed to be hyphenated, and the ‘m’ in mart capitalized?
According to an arrest citation, Amy Kapetanious and Daniel Shelton were observed by a loss prevention employee concealing merchandise in a diaper bag and purse and also around their 9-month-old infant.
I love how they were “observed.” The whole point of Loss Prevention not to sit in the snack bar and drink coffee, it’s to prevent people from doing what these people did in your line of sight. I think you need a new job assignment. Perhaps some toilets need cleaning or something.
It happened around 6 p.m. Monday at a Walmart store on Diann Marie Road, in east Louisville.
I also love the fact they call out the store specifically in the story. It’s like a blatant warning to all shoplifters: *Attention potential shoplifters, the Wal-Mart was recently subject to a large hit. Security will be high. Avoid said store for 2-4 weeks until the hype dies down. That is all*
When the loss prevention employee approached Kapetanious, she and Shelton left the store without paying for items worth about $1,300, according to the citation.
Apparently this is a common value to steal – as I had $1400 stolen from me Friday. Hmm. Wonder is there’s a correlation. Do these people know my PayPal password???
Okay, back to the point of Loss Prevention – you aren’t supposed to let them leave the store with the stuff, you idiot. You run, you track them down, tackle them if you have to, you page someone, you trip them, you open a package of marbles and throw them into the path of the shoplifters – you don’t let them go.
Seriously, what stuff did they get from Wal-Mart that fit in a diaper bag that was worth $1300? Yeah, there are some high-ticket items at all Wal-Marts, but they either won’t fit in a diaper bag, or they are under lock and key.
Elitist reporter note: I hate the use of “citation” in this paragraph. Especially twice. Given the fact the paragraph starts out taking about the citation, I think any normal person would know this information was provided on the citation as well.
Might I point out their $1300 worth of stuff was more important than their 9-month-old kid.
“Hey, honey, I think we forgot something.”
“Did you get the new Xbox game I wanted?”
“Yes.”
“Condoms?”
“Yes.”
"Jane's Addition CD?"
"Yep."
“I dunno.”
“OMG, it’s the baby.”
The pair was caught about 400 yards from the store.
They were caught 400 yards from the store. However, the previous paragraph says that she attempted to change clothes. Was she doing that while she was running? Was she running through the parking lot half-naked? No wonder Loss Prevention wasn’t trying to stop them, he was getting a free show.
Furthermore, if they went back to try to get the baby, why didn’t they catch them inside the store, where the baby was left sitting, rather bewildered, and probably thankful her (or his, it doesn’t say) idiot parents left her. The child probably made gurgling noises that translated into “take me home with you – PLEASE!” to anyone who passed the cart.
Kapetanious is also charged with theft by unlawful taking and giving officers false information.
Elitist reporter note: What false information did she give the police??? That part seems to be missing from the story. Now I wanna know! I hate stories that only give you part of the information. Now I’m sad. Just one more disappointment to add to my ever-growing list in 2011 and I’m only four days into the year!
Shelton is also charged with fleeing and evading police, resisting arrest and theft by unlawful taking.
There is a surprising lack of details about resisting arrest as well, but, I guess one could infer the fleeing/evading police is a form of resisting arrest. But still, I want more details! I took the time to read more than just the headline of the story, I want more for my time! (Well, I guess I did get a blog post out of it, so I can’t complain too much.)
Child Protection Services was notified of the incident.
Well, dear God, I should hope so.
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