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| Okay, so it's a PhotoShop job, and it's a Canadian McDonald's, but, well, you take what you can get. |
Lexington Police say they have found the car wanted in a double shooting early Friday.
Wait a minute, the car is wanted? Wow, is this like a robot car. OMG, it’s Transformers. Someone, quick, call Michael Bay – he can shoot the third one in the trilogy right here in Lexington!
Two men were shot in their stomachs as they walked on the sidewalk outside the McDonald's on South Limestone, near the University of Kentucky campus.
Are they sure they got shot in their stomachs? It could have just been the McDonald’s fighting back. Have you ever been to the McDonald’s on Limestone? Cause I have. It’s not much better than Tolly Ho when it comes to grease and the quality of food.
So far, no one has been arrested in connection with the shootings.
Well, no duh no one has been arrested in connection with the shootings. Look above, the car did it. Arrest the car.
The Chevrolet Camaro, apparently driven by the shooters, was found by police on Alexandria Drive just before 6:30 a.m.
See, a Camaro, it’s so Transformers.
Oh, wait, it was driven by the shooters. My bad. Found on Alexandria Drive – I’d like to know where, exactly on Alexandria. That road is questionable, at best. Besides, if they looked hard enough, they might have found some Decepticons lurking around.
Police say a third man later arrived at the hospital with a foot injury. Officers say they're not sure if he was shot, but he was in the McDonald's parking lot when the shooting happened.
Okay, seriously, LPD, you know a man who was in the McDonald’s parking lot at the time arrived at the hospital, and with what type of injury, but you don’t know if he was shot or not? What. The. Hell. You’re the freakin’ police, do you’re freakin’ jobs, okay?
The victims tell police they were walking to Tolly Ho when they were confronted by two men on the sidewalk then shot.
Ahhh, look, Tolly Ho rears its greasy head. Score!
Grammar Nazi note: Wrong verb case in use. The victims don’t “tell” the police anything. They “told” the police. Past tense. Because I don’t think they are still in the current act of telling police anything.
Grammar Nazi note, redux: First of all, I’m not liking the “…confronted by two men on the sidewalk then shot,” because it seems to me there’s a comma missing or something. Or the word “and.” Or both. Furthermore, these guys were talking about how “they” were confronted, then shot, one might read that it was in fact the victims who did the shooting. Let’s try this rewrite instead, shall we?
“The victims told police they were walking to Tolly Ho when they were confronted by two men on the sidewalk who shot them.”
Plus, wait, the car was at fault earlier. Now it’s these two guys who were on the sidewalk. Which is it? Where did the car come into play?
All shooting victims went to U.K. Hospital.
Wouldn’t Samaritan have been closer? Since, you know, you can throw a rock to it from the McDonald’s?
Since the shooting happened near campus, university officials notified students about the incident.
Well, I should hope so, considering students in Holmes Hall heard the shots since it’s across the street and half of them probably watched the whole thing go down.
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